138, The Power of Reinventing and Redefining Your Authentic Self with Kelli Moore

Sabrina Gebhardt 0:00

Hi, my name is Sabrina Gephardt and I'm a member of Kate Kordsmeier Is the incubator. I have loved being a part of this program and I want to share three of my favorite reasons why. So first and foremost is the community. Being surrounded by people who are going through the exact same thing has been absolutely incredible. The incubator is a group of women entrepreneurs, a lot of them are moms, some of us are in different seasons of life. And just understanding the struggles between work life balance, and balancing motherhood and balancing a career has been so wonderful. This is a community where we are able to share our wins and losses and be vulnerable and ask questions and I have loved that so much. I also love the ideas that come out of the incubator, not only ideas that come from Kate and her team, but also again, being surrounded by those like minded entrepreneurs, being surrounded by women in different industries with different levels of experience brings different ideas to the table. And that has been invaluable. And the last thing I want to share is having access to so many people who are experts in their field, tech experts, SEO experts, copywriting experts, money, mindset experts, and so many more. So a lot of masterminds or programs focus on one specific thing, and that's great and you learn that thing, but the incubator offers insight and access to information about so many different areas. And that is awesome.

Kate Kordsmeier 1:29

You're listening to the Success with Soul podcast where we believe empowering women is the key to creating a brighter future for us all. Whether you're an entrepreneur, employee or stay at home mom, this podcast is for you. I'm your host Kate Kordsmeier and ICF life and business coach who has made over 2.2 million while working less than 25 hours a week, raising two toddlers and quitting social media. I'm here to transparently share my expertise and help you create a life and business you love. Together with my diverse team of passionate women many of whom you'll hear from on this podcast. We empower 1000s With holistic strategies, personal development resources and mindset tools to find freedom, flexibility and fulfillment and business and beyond. Every week we offer life coaching for Busy Women who want to improve their relationships, self care and overall well being and business coaching for coaches, course creators and consultants who want to make money sustainably. We believe personal growth and entrepreneurship are powerful tools for creating social change. And the world is a better place When more women find their voice and create their own money, power and freedom. Expect candid conversations and insightful interviews with experts that will inspire and support you on your path to intentional whole living and Success with Soul on your terms. It's time to ditch the hustle and find inner peace. Here we go

Indira 2:57

Welcome back to the Success with Soul podcast. I'm your guest host Indira with tiene que que and with us today is Kelly Moore. Kelly likes to think of herself as the master of helping women reinvent themselves after leaving her 15 Year award winning sports television career, while simultaneously healing herself of chronic illness. She has been devoted to supporting women in their own self discovery process. Through potent conversations on her top rank shows the naked mama and okay baby. She leads women in their journeys of intimacy, motherhood, and clearing old stories and believes to step into who they are becoming. Kelly is a mama a wife, co founder and CEO of the premier Podcast Network Soulfire productions. I absolutely loved my conversation with Kelly. I mean, her company is Soulfire productions and we're Success with Soul. We dive into why it's so important for women to go through the process of reinventing themselves why people pleasing can actually be a form of manipulation is really interesting. That's something I actually had never heard before. We also discussed her chronic illness and the healing process that led her to start a podcast to help other women and why it's so important to find your own voice. Y'all. I think you're going to love this episode as much as I did. Let's dive in.

Welcome to the Success with Soul podcast. Kelly, I am thrilled to have you on here. Please let our audience know who you are and a little bit about your entrepreneurial journey.

Kelli Moore 4:51

Yeah, thank you for having me and Derek, it's great to be with you. So I grew up in Southern California I was a volleyball player my whole life went on to USC played volleyball there, I graduated and started working in television. So I was a TV host and sports for about 15 years. And at the same time also had chronic illness. So I was dealing with that as well. And when I left my TV career, what was it probably five, six years ago now, I just had kind of had it with being in television and working with men, and just a lot of toxic environments. And for me, I just knew I wanted to work with women. And I had been on this chronic illness journey of healing myself. And so I wanted to create resources and provide conversations and access for women, to heal with alternative medicine and just understand that there was more to our experience than Western medicine and just being given pills and sent on our merry way, and just really taking responsibility for our health and our journeys. And so that's really where my entrepreneurial journey started was leaving television healing from chronic illness, I started my podcast, I just started having these conversations with women and sharing what I was doing. And a couple years after starting the podcast, we started Soulfire productions, which is our media company. So we produce about 30 podcasts and do a lot of strategy for podcasters, just to understand how to run your show at an optimal level, how to be a better interviewer how to monetize, just to understand the back end of podcasting. And for me, it's really about having important conversations and helping other hosts with their platform to reach more people, all of our hosts, most of them are women, but a lot of them are having challenging conversations and really pushing boundaries. And similar to why I started is they really want to provide resources and have alternative discussions just around life, whether it's spirituality, or sexuality or personal development business, so many Trailblazers that we support, which is really exciting. So that's kind of how I've gotten to where you are.

Indira 6:55

I love it. And I love that you are predominantly working with women here at Team KK, we are an all women team as well. So I can totally relate to that. So you've kind of had to reinvent yourself, in some ways, right? Going from an athlete to this podcaster to now having your own production company. So why would you redefine reinventing one oneself? And why do you think it's important for women to go through this process?

Kelli Moore 7:25

Yeah, you know, for me, as well as a lot of the women in my community, we tend to be people pleasers, and we have done such a good job of fitting into the mold and fitting in and doing what we're told and being the good girls and so much of our lives is spent checking off boxes. Okay, did I make my dad proud? Did I make my mom proud? Did I get the pat on the back from my coach? Did it get the Straight A the gold star? And never during that time? Are we asking ourselves questions around? What do I want and what makes me feel good. And so I remember the moment I realized my whole life was a sham. To be honest, I looked at myself in the mirror one day before I was going to Dodger Stadium to go to work and I didn't recognize myself. And I was like, how did I get here? I don't even know who I am. And so much of that had just been living for other people based on their expectations and their standards. And that's when I really started my reinvention process. And my question of who am I like, who am I not? Who am I being for other people? Or to please other people or to get external validation and attention? Who am I? What do I really care about? What brings me joy? What is my definition of success? And I think for me, the most important part of redefining who you are, or reinventing yourself, or your life or your career, your relationships is asking ourselves better questions. And being radically honest, I think we're really good at lying to ourselves, because we've been taught to just do what other people tell us to do. And so there's very rarely an honest conversation that happens. So we can take a step back and say, What makes me happy? And how can I discern between other people's expectations of me, you know, we hear the voice of our parents always in our head or our grandmother, whoever was that influence on our lives? And that's how we make decisions. And so if we can discern between Is it them and what they want and what has been bestowed upon me in my life? Or is it something that I actually want? And how do I hear my own voice and listen to my own intuition and get clear on my desires and my goals and be okay with quote unquote, disappointing people, or not living up to what they want and really staying in my lane and doing what makes me feel good within my life.

Indira 9:36

I love that you bring a topic about people pleasing, and I feel like a lot of our listeners can relate to that. I think women in general, that's just something that you don't know if society has conditioned us to want to be people pleasers, but it's definitely an epidemic among women. It feels

Kelli Moore 11:59

But and he just doesn't want to give me a hug sometimes. And so we have just had to get really honest about okay, I need a hug right now. And he really wants to go do this fun thing together outside. So we show up for each other in the way we need. And then neither of us feel this need to people, please because we're both getting our needs met. And then we can just show up in ways that feel really good. And with unconditional love without all these expectations behind every single thing we do.

Indira 12:22

I love that I love that you bring up the love languages. That's actually something in our team where we also because it's important to know right? Even in a business environment, it's important to know, what is the language that works well with someone versus with someone else. You mentioned that you are a new mom, congratulations. That's a whole new journey. So how do you balance as a mother, a wife, a CEO? Like do you have any tips for women who are juggling multiple roles and responsibilities?

Kelli Moore 12:57

Yeah, I actually liked that you say juggle, because I think it's it's more juggling, then it is balancing? I don't know that balancing exists, right? I think that my priorities shifted a lot. When I got pregnant, we had to go through IVF. So it was just it was all hands on deck full time job just trying to get pregnant. And luckily for us, we got pregnant on the first try. But it was all here of taking hormones and getting pregnant and then being pregnant and having the baby and we had a traumatic birth. So the recovery was pretty intense. And just, it was all consuming. And I realized that I needed to slow down. And I needed to take care of myself and I needed to not focus on this achievement pattern that I have. I've been highly successful in my life in many areas. And that's great. But when I constantly feel this need to climb the mountain and get the gold star and do the thing and have attention for that, it really takes away from every other area of my life. And so, to me, I was like, well, one, how can I reprioritize things and what really matters Being a mom is most important thing to me in the world. Okay, so if I know that I really want to be a present Mom, how do I now create the life around that? How do I make sure that I am present that when I go to work, and I'm working, I'm present there. And then when I'm with my daughter, I'm not carrying all that over and being stressed and anxious and worried that I'm not, you know, I didn't get these three emails responded to or this podcast recorded. So I think reprioritizing in that way has been really important. And just being honest with myself about what matters. And yes, I want to achieve I love that I love doing big things and being the CEO of a company. And that's all amazing. But how can I do it based on my terms and redefining what success looks like? And so I have rather than being in this constant state of gogogo and needing to do and being in motion, how can I learn how to receive more? How can I learn how to be more efficient and productive with my time and show up in a softer energy so that I really feel like I am in a good state while I'm running my company and I'm a good leader and I feel good about the way

of showing up rather than constantly just checking off boxes. And so I think those shifts have really helped me juggle between being a mom and a CEO and then showing up as a wife, my relationship with my husband is super important as well. And I think, you know, I hear this from a lot of my friends that have kids too, it's, that's the first thing to go is the relationship with your partner, because you only have so much time in the day. And so how do I make space for that, and I know that if I'm taking care of myself, and I can relax back into that feminine energy and not feel like I'm constantly going and doing, I can be a better partner, and I can ask for my husband asked my husband for what I need, and really show up and give him support in the ways he needs. And so I think it's just, it's every day, it's something different, but I think it's always tuning into what do I need? How can I fill up my cup and then show up for my daughter in the best way possible. And then everything sort of flows out of that.

Indira 15:51

I love that here at Team KK we practice cyclical living. And so yeah, it's, you know, the idea that we as women are not linear, right? Like men are. And so you know, the moon definitely affects our energy levels, and where we are on our menstrual cycle with the moon. And, you know, maybe today is the day to do marketing and record all those podcasts. But you know, maybe a week from now, it's a more relaxed state. So I completely understand about, you know, balancing that and just tapping into that feminine energy and listening to yourself.

Kelli Moore 16:35

Yeah, well, and I'm sure you understand this, too. I think, as women we're not great at receiving. And we don't even know what that means. You know, we're the caretakers, we're the givers. We're the doers for everyone else. We make the birthday parties happen in the grocery shopping in the house, and the work and all the things and make sure everyone's taken care of, and then we're over here depleted as hell, like, Can someone please bring me a coffee. And I think that's part of my motherhood journey, too, is learning how to be better at receiving and really embracing that I have gotten so good at asking for help, even when I don't really need it. Of course, I can do something for myself. But I look at my husband like, Hey, can you please go get me a glass of iced water? I never would have done that before. But I'm tired. I'm up with our daughter all night long. I'm breastfeeding, my body is depleted, I'm still recovering five and a half months in? Why is it so hard to ask someone to go get you a glass of water when it's very easy for them and having support people around you? And learning how to receive love and money and support? And all of these things, I think can be such a big shift for us. But there's this fear of but what if I'm not in control? And what if I, you know, seem weak, because I don't do this for myself. It's like we're women, especially in this competitive nature of work. We're always having to one up someone else and prove that we're capable. And we're the best. And this competitive nature that has been created for us has kept us from being in that receiving that you're talking about and going with the flow and being in cyclical chapters of every day and within our lives. I think the more we can tap into that, the more fruitful every area of our life will be whether it's in our pleasure, or just in relationship, or with our wealth and the way we receive money and how open we are energetically to all of this coming to us.

Indira 18:20

I love that you mentioned that. I'm a huge fan of Louise Hayes and law of attraction. And one of the things everyone knows the law of attraction, but few people know the law of receiving

Kelli Moore 18:31

Yes.

Indira 18:31

Which is equally as important, right? Because it's that flow, you have to allow the flow to happen.

Kelli Moore 18:39

Yeah, have you read pocketful of money?

Indira 18:41

I have not.

Kelli Moore 18:42

Oh, girl, you will love it. So it's a book about money. One of my girlfriends, Allegra she like works with women in wealth circles and teaches women about wealth. And this is her favorite book. So it's a book about money. But you wouldn't even know it till you could tell like the last three pages of the book. Because it's everything you're talking about. It's all about attraction, the energy that we are in the way we are able to receive and show up in our lives every single day. I have recommended it so many people, it's one of the best books I've ever read it is. So it's amazing to see your shift internally when you read the book. And it's just very eye opening. Because a lot of us are just on autopilot. We don't even realize a lot of the things we're doing and so much around money as taught by our parents and our grandparents and we don't have a good grasp on it. And we think we just have to work hard and everything will be okay. And we'll have stability. And for a lot of us. That's not really a core value. We actually want to receive more and we don't want to have to work, you know, 5060 hour weeks in order to sustain the lifestyle we want. And so I think this book is an amazing resource.

Indira 19:42

Oh, I love it. It's at the end of this. We have a lightning round and that is a question that we asked. So maybe that was the book for you.

Kate Kordsmeier 19:55

Well, hey there, it's Kate Kordsmeier and I wanted to play a quick game with you. Let me know which of these you can raise your hand for? Are you wanting to reconnect with your authentic self, soul and purpose to become the woman you want to be? We want you to create aligned habits for more rest and less stress to live intentionally and take control of your daily life, to connect to other women who are on growth journeys, and rediscover your inherent worthiness and value so you can step into your power. Are you wanting to get clarity on life's decisions and your direction? Are you wanting to partner with your mindset to achieve your goals and find the balance between your priorities and all of the competing roles you serve? If you're saying yes, then you're going to absolutely love our Success with Soul membership. This monthly membership includes monthly soul sessions with energy healers, spiritual guides, wellness gurus and other guest experts. Monthly mindset coaching calls cyclical living guidance, journaling prompts and taro and other resources and tools for living a soulful, whole life. Head on over to Kate kordsmeier.com forward slash membership to join us today. That's successwithsoul.co/membership.

Indira 21:14

I want to go back a little bit when I introduced you earlier. Tell me a little bit about the naked mama and okay. Yeah, so I've had my podcast for about five years, I took last year off, because I was going through IVF. And that's another thing that I've learned in you know, juggling or balancing is that some things have to go. And some things need to take a pause. And I had to prioritize running Soulfire and being pregnant and taking care of my body and making sure I was resting. And so I pause the podcast, but it started as a you know, a show about chronic illness and healing and alternative medicine. And it's really sort of followed along on my journey of spiritual and personal development. And so now the naked Mama is really around the same topic. So it's, you know, expanding and reinvention and radical honesty and taking ownership of our lives and showing up as a woman we desire to be and not in these old stories and patterns. But it's through my lens of motherhood. Now, because I see the world very differently, I see my body differently, my identity differently. The way I you know, walk through the world is is very different now. And so it's all of that, but through this lens of motherhood that I'm in now, and I love that show, it's so fun. And it feels so good. And yeah, so that's that. And then Okay, babe is a show I do with my husband. And it's a very different vibe.

Kelli Moore 22:35

It's very fun. It's, it gets kind of heated. Sometimes my husband talks a lot about politics and culture, and just social issues that are going on. So we kind of get into the weeds with a lot of that going on. But we talk about relationships and love and sex and sexuality. And I'm bisexual. And so we've talked about that whole journey. And we just have the conversations that a lot of people need to hear but don't have access to because they're taboo or they're inappropriate, or there's a lot of shame around them. And we felt like we both came from, you know, different shame spirals in our own lives. My husband says he was the fat kid. And he felt really bad about his body. And he also was raised to Christian and felt a lot of shame within the church. And I had my own shame around my sexuality and things like that. And so we talk a lot about that, because we feel like the more people are able to have access to those kinds of conversations, the less alone that we all feel. And we realize that we're not the only person having this struggle that a lot of us have these struggles, and a lot of us need to hear these conversations. So we know what's possible, and that there are alternative relationships, or there are different ways to communicate to get the most out of your relationship. So it's a really fun podcast, and there's some jaw dropping moments. But it's great for us to record.

Indira 23:50

I love it. I love it. And thank you for sharing so openly. I also identified as bisexual when I was married to my ex husband, I am now married to a woman and fully lesbian. So I went all the way.

Kelli Moore 24:09

Yeah, I've had those moments. I'm like, is this just on the path to going somewhere else?

Indira 24:16

Um, but yeah, it's definitely very interesting to navigate. I was actually having this conversation with my wife how when marriage became legal, I was married, you know, to a man. Right. But that day was still equally important to me not because at that moment did I think one day I this right afforded to me at this moment, right. But it was just so interesting to see how things have shifted in terms of being in a heterosexual couple and the things that you can speak about versus being in, you know, a same sex couple were when we think about our bucket list, and we write things, like, for example, our bucket list, one of the things is we want to go to watch the Women's World Cup. And I put caveat has to be in a country that's LGBTQ friendly and safe, right? That's something I never had to think about before. That was like, true. But now, that's real. Like, I would want to travel to a country where my wife and I are going to be safe. So it's interesting that you that you bring that up. And I'm just wondering, like, what are some of the biggest challenges that you think women are facing today, particularly maybe in the, as entrepreneurs are so many women now that are CEOs and entrepreneurs, which I love? What do you think some of those biggest challenges are for women?

Kelli Moore 25:50

In terms of what if we could go million ways? I guess.

Indira 25:55

So yeah, that's a loaded question. Right? I guess, going back to the juggling of everything, right. There's this expectation. I feel like when men are CEOs, it's like, well, that's their job. But when women are CEOs, there's still this sense of, but you still have to take care of the kids, you still have to cook and you know, all these other women li roles that are expected of them that I don't really see co men having to really deal with.

Kelli Moore 26:26

Yeah, yeah, no, it's so true. So my husband and I have an interesting dynamic. I'm the breadwinner. And so he does work. And he supports with Soulfire. He has his own podcast, and we do Okay, babe together, but he's very much supportive with taking care of our daughter. And we do have help. We have a nanny every day. So that's amazing. But he's very much hands on. And he, we're so lucky, we work from home and run our company from our home. So it makes it a lot easier. We're not going into an office. But yeah, so that's our dynamic. And so my husband cooks a lot, and my husband cleans a lot. And he is up with our daughter at 5am Almost every day so that I can sleep for a couple hours after being up with her at night. And so that dynamic is amazing for us, because I do see how difficult it is for so many of my friends who don't have that support they are. They're trying to fill every traditional role of being a woman while also filling a very modern role of running a company and being breadwinners. And it's confusing, and it's overwhelming. And it's really hard, because I don't think that says why I don't like the word balance. I don't know that there is balance. I think that there are seasons. And I think that our priorities shift in every season. Right now, my priority is that I am pregnant with our daughter, I'm up half the night breastfeeding her and taking care of her and making sure that I'm really present with her at such a young age. I know that that will shift as she gets older, she can spend more time with dad, she's not up all night, I can take care of myself, I can go on trips, I can focus more on the company. I know that those things will change. But I see that we are and this goes back to the people pleaser conversation, I see that we are just constantly trying to fit a role. Can I check the boxes in this lane? Okay, I'm good. Okay, now here. Now let me be the sexy wife that you know, ravages her husband and lures him in. Okay, now I'm going to shift into mom and let me go breastfeed really quick. And then oh, don't forget, you have to get up at 6am. Make sure you get your workout in. So your body looks good before you get into your meetings. And if you have time to eat great, but you probably won't. How are we going to thrive, we are in survival mode. We are constantly in survival mode as women working and taking care of our house and taking care of children and taking care of our partners. And I think that there is an exhaustion level that we have all hit. It's why there's so much chronic illness, our adrenals are shot, our cortisol levels are all over the place. We're not sleeping, we're gaining weight, we can't figure out why we don't feel good. And it's because of this. We're constantly just trying to fit into this mold. And I think we have to take a step back and realize one perfection does not exist. And we're all trying to be these like perfect women that check the boxes and look a certain way and achieve this success and get this promotion. And also you know boss babe culture on Instagram where you know, you have the Louis Vuitton and you do this thing. I mean, what the hell?

Yeah, I think I mean, I see it all the time. And I definitely like revert back to that pattern. Sometimes, you know, especially, I have a five month old daughter now. And so I'm in mommy mode. And it's really easy to become a people pleaser and a martyr and put everyone before us and not take care of ourselves. But something that I talk about a lot. And this really helped me shift my perspective around people pleasing, when I started to understand how manipulative it is to be a people pleaser, it changed everything for me. And when I say manipulative, what I mean is, when I people, please so if I'm doing something for you, or I'm going out of my way, or I'm trying to live up to your expectation, I want something specific in return from meal, I want you to see me a certain way, or I want you to show up for me in a certain way. I want you to act the way I want you to act. And that's really manipulative. That's like making people be how you want them to be by doing something for them or to them or with them. And when I noticed that I was like, Oh, well, I don't want to be manipulative. I'm not consciously doing that. I don't think most of us are consciously walking around being manipulative people pleasers. I think it's just part of the deal. And so I think when we have that frame of reference, we can take a step back and say, Okay, but what is it that I actually need? Well, what I need is for people to take care of me for people to love on me for, you know, people to give me words of affirmation, or to give me a hug. Those are things that make me feel really good. So rather than me going out of my way, and this roundabout way of trying to get what I need, why don't I just ask for what I need? What a concept. And so I started to learn how to ask for what I need, and my need to people please actually started to fade. Because I was getting my cup full. My friends were showing up for me in a way that felt really good for me. And then other people understood what I wanted and what I desired. We can't expect people to read our minds. Everyone has different needs. My husband and I have very different love languages. I am touch and words of affirmation. And he's quality time. And I'm just like, I cannot with the quality time, bro.

Can we take a step back? And reprioritize what actually matters to us? Do we need to keep up with the Joneses? Do we need to have all these things and impress all these people and have the Instagram worthy photo? Or is our priority actually to be happy? And what does happiness mean to you? I think we're living by everyone else's definitions of happiness and success. And we're trying to fulfill those without actually asking ourselves, but what actually makes me happy. And what brings me success because success to me when I worked in television was yeah, I drove a Mercedes I had a Louis Vuitton bag I was doing sit down interviews with Magic Johnson I thought I was hot shit. My version of success now looks way different. I live on a mountain, I have two dogs, a baby a husband, we get to go, and you know, trek around and have freedom and get to play. And I get to have fresh air and not be in the hustle and bustle of LA. That's success to me now. But I had to choose that. And I had to rewrite that script for myself. And I had to pull myself out of someone else's matrix and say, Actually, this just doesn't work for me. And I want to define my life in this way, because that feels really good. And maybe in five years, that looks so different, I don't know. But I think that we just have to be more honest about what we actually want and what matters to us so that we're not in this rat race that is causing us to be sick and exhausted as women and never feeling fulfilled ourselves.

Indira 30:45

There was so much I don't know, there's nothing to add. But yes, especially the matrix, right? I always tell people like, you know, you need to get out of the matrix. So here at Team KK Kate actually successfully left social media, it's been over a year, and the business has grown exponentially since she left social media. But for us, that's part of the matrix too. So I find that interesting that you say that, Kate, also our CEO, she actually started a blog from because of her chronic illness, you know, kind of navigating and doing research and diving deep, and then started sharing that in a blog. And that's how that got started. So as someone who has battled chronic illness, how have you used your experience to help other women who are struggling with similar challenges, I guess through the podcast is,

Kelli Moore 31:48

yeah, so a lot of it has been through the podcast, I've done quite a bit of courses and group work. And for me, it's it's helping people understand what the root causes of chronic illness are. Because what most what Western medicine has taught us is that there's just something wrong with you. So now take these pills. And this is your life. And so they never get to the actual root cause Western medicine doesn't know how to test properly, they don't know how to test, do stool tests, or the proper blood tests to test your cortisol and adrenals. They don't ask about your environment, your lifestyle, the products that you're using on your body, how you're being treated at work, what your stress levels are, what kind of trauma you've experienced. Those are all really important markers to see where this is coming from. And when I started working with my functional medicine doctor, he sent me to a shaman. And I was like, This guy is a frickin nut, like there's something wrong with you. And he said to me, he said, I don't want you to take this the wrong way. But it's all in your head. And I was like, How dare you? Are you telling me I'm making this up? And he goes, No, you're not making anything up. But this is in your head. This is in your body, there is trauma that you've experienced. And the anxiety and the stress that is caused from this is causing your body to break down to experience severe systemic inflammation, it's causing holes in your gut, leaky gut, it's causing you to not be able to process foods, you're not able to, there's a thing called methylation where you can't detox properly. So your liver and different organs aren't able to detox the way they're supposed to. So your body is just not processing properly. So everything is stuck. You have stuck energy, you've experienced sexual trauma. So that's in there as well. You're in a very high stress job, and you're a people pleaser. Like your body is trying to tell you that none of this is okay. And you just keep going through you just make it happen. Make it happen. He's like you need to go and start working on yourself. You need to go work on this people pleaser and this anxiety and this I need to be perfect. And you need to remove yourself from these toxic environments. And you also need to stop putting a bunch of products on your body that are full of hormone disruptors and toxins that are making you sick. So I just did a huge overhaul I started working with the shamans, I went and did ayahuasca, I left my career. I got out of a lot of toxic relationships. I literally cleaned my entire house of all the toxic products and started using non toxic and within a year and a half I was healed. And every conversation that I've had on the podcast in my group programs one on one is teaching women about this because we don't understand that so much comes from trauma, traumatic experiences, as well as our environment and we have to get really honest about what we are tolerating in our lives, how we're allowing people to treat us and the way we are not taking responsibility for our lives and our choices and our experiences. So often I see that we are making choices based on like He said other people's expectations are what they need. We're not taking responsibility and saying, I'm not okay with this, I'm going to make a new choice. And I'm going to pivot, whether that means ending a relationship or leaving a career. We don't do that. And we have to do that if we don't advocate for ourselves, we're going to stay sick. And a lot of women who are dealing with chronic illness, even things like breast cancer and a lot of issues in that way. They're the people pleasers, they're the one taking care of everyone and your body gets sick, because it's trying to tell you, Hey, you can't do this anymore. You have to pay attention to me, I'm falling apart. You're taking care of everyone else instead of taking care of me. And I think that those are red flags that we are so good at ignoring. So that's a lot of the conversations that I've had.

Indira 35:45

I love that. I don't know if you're familiar with Anita Moorjani dying to be me.

Kelli Moore 35:50

No,

Indira 35:51

okay. Well, she, you know, literally died, per se and, you know, came back was pronounced dead for all sense of purpose from a medical standpoint and came back and she attributes the cancer that she got was from being a people pleaser, and what she learned from all that, but that immediately came up when when you said that, Kelly, it's been amazing having this conversation with you. Is there something that you wish I asked that I did it?

Kelli Moore 36:21

Oh, wow. No, I feel like you asked so many amazing questions. No, I feel like we covered a lot of topics.

Indira 36:26

Awesome. So we are coming to the lightning round here at Success with Soul. This is my favorite part. And it's just five quick questions. The first one is what's your favorite way to make time for self care while running your own business.

Kelli Moore 36:41

I love taking baths. It's my favorite thing I get in the bath, whether it's me on my own, or with my daughter, and I just love being in the water and listening to music and just my happy place.

Indira 36:52

I love that I had a home birth of water. And it was I'm with you there. So like I knew I had to be in the water. But I love that what is one tool or strategy that you use to help with time management?

Kelli Moore 37:08

Oh, so I am very diligent with my calendar. And I schedule everything out, including when I'm working out. When I'm with my daughter, when I'm working when I need my husband to help with my daughter, when we have the nanny, I do everything because it makes it a lot easier for me, I know exactly when things are happening. And then if something needs to shift, I'm able to respond in a way that feels really good for me. And I also it helps me have boundaries. So if my calendar is full, and someone's like, Hey, can I just hop in your calendar for 15 minutes, I'm like, sorry, my day is full. This is what my next availability is. If I don't have things scheduled, I tend to bend for a lot of people and what they need. And so it really holds me accountable to myself and what is best for me and that it also allows me to bend for me when I need to.

Indira 37:58

I love that here at Team K K, we do a Planning Power Hour, which is exactly that. There's literally everything goes in the calendar. And we kind of like we dedicate one day a week and we built out the calendar out, kind of start with a brain dump everything that needs to be done and just start scheduling it in. So it sounds very similar what we're doing. Yeah, that's brilliant. So you mentioned earlier in which I wrote down pocket full of money, but is there another powerful business mindset entrepreneurial book that you read that you reference again, and again,

Kelli Moore 38:33

I won't consider this a business book. This is a life book that I feel like impacts your business. This is my my Bible. I tell everyone, it's called Journey of souls. Journey of Souls is a book How do I put this in a nutshell, basically explains that there's more than this 3d experience, and that we really choose what our life is going to look like, before we come here, I believe in reincarnation. And I believe, you know, we are souls having a human experience. And so this book is written by a, I think is a psychotherapist. And he is also a hypnotist and works with his patients. It's written in like in the 70s. And he works with all of his patients, and he hypnotizes them and takes them through a process. And every single one of them tells of the same experience that they have, as a soul, they're able to see from wherever you want to call it the ethereal looking down and they say okay, this is the experience I want to have, these are the lessons I want to learn. So I'm going to choose this path, and I'm going to go be in this body. And these are the relationships I'm gonna have. So for example, maybe you and I were best friends in the past life. And now we just know each other through a podcast, and that's how we reconnect. And so we're able to learn all these lessons with different relationships with people in our lives. And we all have these like Soul pods. And so I really feel like that affects our businesses because I do feel so deeply connected with my team. I have 13 people on our team, and there is such a soul connection and that book allows me to see how I am in charge As and how I get to choose the life that I have. And I do have the power, and that there's also this divine experience that we're all having with one another. And there is purpose to everything that happens. And for me, it takes a lot of pressure off. Because I realized I came here for a reason I'm in this body, and I'm running this business, and I'm in these relationships on purpose. And so I don't feel like anything is a coincidence. And I just love that book, because it helps me have a lot of perspective. And it kind of takes a lot of the pressure off of the humaneness of it all. And reminds me that there's something so much bigger than what we're doing. Love that.

Indira 40:36

I don't know if you're familiar with Brian Weiss many lives, many masters. Yes. Yeah. So when you said, Doctor hypnotherapist I'm like, Oh, I will definitely both these books, I will definitely be reading. Good. I love it. What's your favorite quote, or mantra or affirmation is when? Tough and like giving up?

Kelli Moore 41:01

Yeah, you know, it's funny, I, out of nowhere, with my daughter came up with this mantra for her. I say we do a little dance with her when I when we say it, and I say, I am strong, I am smart. And I have a big heart. And that just came to me one day. And I was like, that's weird. And what I've noticed is that so many of the things that I do with her are for myself, too. They're things that I needed to hear when I was a little girl. And they're things that I still need to hear at 35 as a mother. And it's just such a beautiful reminder for me, because I always felt like I'm not smart enough. I worked in an industry where people cared a lot about how you looked. And if you were dressed sexy enough. And so that's how I viewed myself is, oh, well, you're just a hot girl, and people pay attention to you. And that's all you have. But that was the value I believed I had. And so I wanted to instill in her from such a young age that you're strong, and you're smart, and you have a big heart. And that is what brings so much value to you. And that's who you are at your core and all these other things that are external validation and attention and blah, blah. That's not what matters. And I feel like I need to hear those things sometimes. And so it's a beautiful reminder for me to do that through her and with her, and to repair it myself. While I'm showing up for her.

Indira 42:13

I love that the first thing that came to mind was, you know, healing your inner child of course. Yeah. So Kelly, we're on the Success with Soul podcast, what does Success with Soul mean to you?

Kelli Moore 42:26

Yes, I love that as my company is called Soulfire. So I love that it's Success with Soul. I really feel that following the whispers and the nudges and the screen means of your soul and your heart and aligning to those that is what brings you the most success. It's not what we decide successes. It's not what we think it's supposed to be. It's allowing our soul and our, you know, our inner compass and our intuition to guide us to our success and allowing that to look differently than what we thought it was supposed to.

Indira 42:59

Yes. So much, Kelly, where can our audience connect with you?

Kelli Moore 43:06

Yeah, I'm on Instagram at Kelly Timor, my website's Kelly moore.co. And then our Soulfire website is Soulfire productions todo calm.

Indira 43:14

Perfect. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for being so transparent and the radical candor that you shared with our listeners, I appreciate you. And I'm so excited to have our listeners dive into this one.

Kelli Moore 43:30

Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. And yeah, thanks.

Kate Kordsmeier 43:37

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