050: How to Get Out of Time Scarcity Mindset with Carla Reeves

Kate Kordsmeier 0:00

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

It's the Success with Soul podcast. I'm your host, Kate Kordsmeier. And today we are talking about a subject that is so near and dear to my heart, and also so important and so relatable. And that is time. I don't have enough time. I need more hours in the day, I'll never be able to get everything on my to do list done. any of that sound familiar? If you've been wearing busy like a badge of honor, this episode is for you. And I think what's really powerful is that in order to create more time and space in your life and in your business, the answer is actually a super simple shift. I don't want to give too much away but Carla Reeves is here today. And Carla is a coach known for her compassionate, direct and truth telling candor, obviously something I can relate to. She helps ambitious leaders by calling out their blind spots, challenging their thinking and expanding their perspective. Carla believes in ditching the illusion that life will be great someday in the future, and teaches leaders how to wake up their thinking to create and live a juicy, rich, meaningful everyday life today. So let's get into it. You're listening to the Success with Soul podcast with Kate Kordsmeier x journalists turned CEO of a multi six figure blog in online business. But it wasn't that long ago that Kate was a struggling entrepreneur who lacked confidence, clarity, and let's be honest money. But all those failures, experiments and lessons learned helped Kay create a thriving business that impacts 1000s and brings freedom, flexibility and fulfillment to her life. If you're ready to do the same and make something happen with holistic, soulful, step by step strategies from Kate and other experts, you're in the right place. here's your host, writer, educator, Mom, recovering perfectionist, bookworm and sushi connoisseur, Kate Kordsmeier. Carla, welcome to the show.

Carla Reeves 2:10

Thank you, Kate. So excited to be here.

Kate Kordsmeier 2:13

I am so glad you're here. It's always nice when a mutual connection that I you know, we have a mutual connection. And we both admire them. And they're like, you should talk you should be friends. Like, okay, I trust Kelly with everything. So I'm glad that Kelly introduced us.

Carla Reeves 2:28

I love that too.

Kate Kordsmeier 2:30

Yeah. Tell us for those of you who are not familiar with Carlos work, what do you do?

Carla Reeves 2:35

Why do I do the million dollar question, right?

Kate Kordsmeier 2:39

It's different answering when we're when you're like in this setting, and people around people who get it then when you're like at a dinner party, or your kids soccer game or something and somebody says what do you do? Like, I don't know, how familiar are you with online marketing and this business model?

Carla Reeves 2:55

Yeah, and of all the things that we do, right? I'm a wife and a mom and I have been running my own while doing my own business for almost 20 years now like in different capacities and form. But what I ultimately do is really work with high achievers who struggle with who are great at being productive, and not so great at being fulfilled, and really help them design a way of living that where they can have both that they can feel productive and have the impact they desire and feel fulfilled on the inside.

Kate Kordsmeier 3:34

Love it. So needed in this world. You know, I think, obviously, as most industries are, we're kind of dominated by men, and working on this masculine model. And it doesn't really work for us as women and so I'm, I'm interested to hear more about how you help us, you know, the the message we all receive is like just do do do go go go achieve produce. That's where our worthiness comes from. But as many of us can attest, even when we do that, and we check all the boxes, and we do all the things, you might still be left feeling, unfulfilled feeling like out of alignment with your true purpose. And so let's dig into that.

Carla Reeves 4:18

Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah. So my story is I was doing exactly that I was going through checking the boxes of what I thought led to that happy, successful life and was really good at checking the boxes really diligent became a master at making everything on the outside look good. And if people looked at my life, they would have thought, you know, like, things are great. And on paper, my life looked really good. And through a series of events, I ended up divorced and in a place that I never ever imagined for myself. And that was a huge pivot point for me and I, I knew in my heart like this wasn't right and there was something More like this, there had to be a different way of doing life. But I didn't know what that was. But from that moment, it was like this pivot to, that's going to be my mission to figure out how to do this differently. And I just started, I flipped everything upside down and started on the inside. And as I did that, everything started to shift.

Kate Kordsmeier 5:25

Okay, so I love this so much. And I know you have kind of this mantra that you work from about leading from the inside out. So what does that really mean? Like, what does that look like?

Carla Reeves 5:37

Yeah, so for me in the work I do with clients is really starting with like, what's happening on the inside and our thoughts. You know, at that time in my life, I was introduced to some tools that really showed me like, wow, I could have more say and more influence on how my life goes. Because up until that point, I was just living sort of at the mercy of my circumstances, and what was happening. And if things were going well, I felt pretty good. But the moment like I wasn't getting the right feedback, or things weren't lining up, just so then I felt like crap. And it was just this roller coaster. And I was exhausted. And so it started with really paying attention to what was happening in my inner world. So with my thoughts, like what was happening in my thinking, and just starting to pay attention to that, and I, I use journaling as a tool to really just start to empty my mind and pay attention. It's like, almost like cleaning up the environment of your mind. So if you think about like, your neighborhood, like, your mind is a neighborhood that we hang out in 24, seven, but we're never really given tools to, like take care of that intends that and cultivate a place where we want to hang out. And so for me, it started with my thinking and really taking responsibility for what was happening up there. And what I was allowing to hang around and focus on and all of that, because it became very clear that my thoughts were like a lens that was shading my entire experience of life and how I was behaving and the actions I was taking and the feelings I was experiencing, and on and on and on.

Kate Kordsmeier 7:14

Right. Yeah, it's a vicious cycle. But I think recognizing that it all starts with our thoughts and like that we can actually change our brain that it feels impossible, but that it is actually possible to choose to believe something else is so powerful. And I think a lot of I'm sure moms in particular can relate to this, given our current circumstances, I mean, myself included, like, I look back at 2020. And, you know, what a year, I had no childcare, the entire year, I have to under two. So it was awful. So just when you're saying that I'm thinking, Okay, about the circumstances, like sometimes the circumstances really are just like, extenuating. And what do we do? And in that scenario, like, how could I have felt less stressed or felt better about things when it was like, Okay, I got a full time job to do and know childcare?

Carla Reeves 8:20

Yeah, yeah, it's such a good question. So and I love that, because a lot of times people hear like, you know, fall in love with your life, love your life, create a life you love. And the truth is, that we don't always love. And we don't always love what's happening in our life. And there's, there's, I like to look at, like, there's what you can't control, like, there's elements that we just can't control. And then there's what we can control. And so I like to look at and help people, you know, sort of look at the part that we can control. And that you know, where that comes into play is, is, you know, your thoughts and how are they impacting it. So like, in that kind of scenario, just, you know, if you're filling your thought your head with thoughts all day of like, this sucks, this is so hard, I am not going to survive this, or how am I going to handle this? And like, you know, just sort of complaining and reiterating this struggle in your head all day? Like, what's the impact going to have on your experience like that, right, and how you feel? And so, you know, it's sort of accepting like, this is what's happening in my life. And maybe there are elements I can't control. But what can I control or influence to shift the way I show up like, how do I want to show up to this? What's the mom I want to be in the face of these circumstances? What's the story? I want to tell when I get to the other side of this looking back, you know, like, who do I want to be? Because, yeah, we don't we can't control the circumstances always. But we always get to choose how we're going to show up and who we're going to be and how we're going To take care of ourselves getting through it.

Kate Kordsmeier 10:02

Mm hmm. I think that question of who do I want to be is so important. And I feel like we often, like we set goals or we want to create habits. And we focus on the thing itself, rather than, like, I think it's an atomic habits where he talks James clear, he talks. Yeah, so good. And he talks about, like, instead of saying, I'm going to set a goal to work out every day, for 30 minutes or something like that, that instead, you would set the goal to be a healthy person? And what would a healthy person do? And then like, every day, you are asking yourself that, okay, if I were a healthy person, what would I do today, and then you make choices based on like being something rather than the specific task

Carla Reeves 10:51

that gets me so excited, because it's, you know, I'm all about freedom and creativity. And like, I have this idea that like, really helping people live a creative life, and that's what I love to do every day. But just in what you shared, it's like, it's like, think about the difference between the two, it's like, workout every day for 30 minutes. Like, what that sounds terrible. Like, it sounds confining, and it's, there's no freedom in that. But when you say like, I want to be a healthy person, then to me, it's like, then I can show up to every day and kind of lean into my energy and my intuition and what I've got on my plate that day, and choose something that really aligns with sort of the bigger picture instead of just for seeing something, I think that's where we end up like, resistant and, you know, to those habits, and, and sort of rebelling against them and then not making the traction that we want instead of trusting ourselves to make that good choice with the compass of who do I want to be, you know, right?

Kate Kordsmeier 11:56

Right? Exactly, exactly. And you can apply it to anything like, I want to be a six figure or seven, fit, you know, whatever it is, I want to be this type of CEO, I want to be this type of visionary. And then every day, it's okay, what would what are the decisions that a six figure business owner would make? And let me now show up as that person and it's sort of, I feel like it's different than, like, fake it till you make it? Because it's, I think it's less pushing and forcing of that. And it is more of this, like, No, I'm just consciously making choices, knowing that the end goal is being this person.

Carla Reeves 12:37

Yeah. And I mean, you can apply it to a question I asked a lot is, you know, someone who wants to feel more confident, you know, if they will, you know, what would confidence do here? Or what would confidence do in this situation? And I think it gives you access to it sort of, like bypasses those beliefs that like, we're not confident or whatever, and kind of goes in the back door and taps into like, well, what would confidence do in this situation? I opens up different options for you to show up differently. And like you said, then it's you're tracking in the direction of where you want to go. But you're not so fixated on exactly how that looks, you're more you're more focused on becoming that person. Right? Right already. Now,

Kate Kordsmeier 13:26

there's a lot of, you know, advice in the manifestation law of attraction world too, that talks about, like, it's not your job to figure out the how you just focus on the desire. And so the how, like the universe, God source, whatever you want to call it like that, they'll figure out the how for you, you just focus on this is my desire. And I am going to lean into that all day, every day. It also reminded me, I'm in this, I was gonna call it like a little mastermind. I've talked about it here before even Molly are probably listening. Hello, ladies.

So we have this

little Voxer thread. And we talk to each other every day. And we're all at very different stages in our businesses. But we all have an online business. And we're all moms and obviously just have a lot in common. And one of the things that they were talking about recently was the stories that we tell ourselves, and they both have a tendency, they think I should say that they have a tendency to not finish things that they start a lot of stuff, they get great ideas, but they don't follow through with it. And Molly was saying, Yeah, and you know, it kind of makes me realize that like, that's the story, I'm constantly telling myself. And so that's what's going to continue to happen as long as I say, Oh, I don't finish things. I will continue to not finish things. But what if I said, No, I'm I am somebody who finishes things, or I'm going to become somebody who finishes things. And then instead of looking for all the evidence where you could say, See, look at this thing. I didn't finish that like clearly you haven't not Finish anything before. So look for the evidence of where you do do those things and then start creating that.

Carla Reeves 15:08

Yeah, I love that. It's so true. I mean, I think we can all relate to some aspect of that where it's true, like I call it, you know, what are you collecting evidence for, because a lot of times, just by default, without even realizing it, we're collecting evidence, it's not in our favor, that doesn't move us forward, it really keeps us stuck. And it's, it's all in design to prove something true that we decided about ourselves, sometimes a really long time ago. And so yeah, it's so powerful to, you know, to one, examine those stories and know what they are, and start to challenge them. Because, you know, the pain that we experienced today is often linked to some sort of truth that we assigned to that, you know, years and years ago that I don't finish things or I'm not good enough, or I'm not loved, or whatever it is, right. And if you know, when I work with clients, it's like, we can't go back and change those experiences that happened that maybe had you sort of create that story about yourself. But what we can do is go back and look at what truth you assigned to that and what you made that mean, because you have absolute power to shift that. And as you do, amazing things start to happen. Yeah, I love Yeah.

Kate Kordsmeier 16:33

Yeah, I

love same. I mean, it's just, what are we collecting evidence for? That's such a good question to ask ourselves, because I think so often, we can spend more time like arguing for our limitations, or a perceived limitations, rather than, like fighting for our desires, or figuring out, okay, how am I going to make this happen, just deciding this is this is going to happen for me. And going from there, we'll just like, come up with all the reasons why we can't do something instead.

Carla Reeves 17:04

Yeah, I see. I see it. So often. In fact, I was just responding to a client this morning online, and it's so it's almost like a gravitational pull for humans, I think that we get focused on what we don't want. And then we just get stopped, because we're so sort of fixated on what we don't want. And if you can just make a simple little pivot to say, Okay, let's use what you don't want to be contrast to tell you what it is you do want. And then align your thinking and your actions to that you create mobility, like almost instantly, and so powerful.

Kate Kordsmeier 17:45

Yeah, so good. Okay, so one of the other things I saw that you talk a lot about is time scarcity. So this is definitely something I think busy working moms can relate to as well. And I mean, everybody, even if you're listening, and you don't have kids, we all need more hours in the day, or we feel like we do. So talk to us a little bit about your work around time scarcity.

Carla Reeves 18:09

Yeah, so over a lot of years, I realized that, like time was just this perpetuating excuse for people, and it showed up in my life in a huge way too. And it just was like this barrier all the time that shows up and almost gives people an out, you know, like, I don't have time or I'm too busy. And just this this reoccurring dialogue around time. And I really, I started to approach it in my own life, because I am a recovering workaholic. And I love to work. I mean, I really I still love to work. But it used to run me instead of me sort of managing it. And I had this little, you know, tyrant on my shoulder. And she was just always yelling at me that I needed to be working, regardless of what I was doing or where I was. And I found that I couldn't even really enjoy when I was like spending time with my family or doing something relaxing, I couldn't really relax. I just felt guilty because she was reminding me of all the work I needed to do all the time. And I realized that just like I had changed these other areas of my life that I needed to approach time in the same way from a mindset perspective that, you know, your thinking is sort of the foundation and so what happens with time is people typically address their behaviors and actions to change their experience. So it's like if I can learn strategies and get better and be faster and more efficient, then I'm going to have more time but that doesn't work. It's not working.

Kate Kordsmeier 19:50

Yeah. Sorry to interrupt you. It's all good. I love in the book clockwork they talk about how like productivity is Not the goal. Because if you do things faster, you're just like, then you take that free time that you've created to just do more things. And it's like, Well, wait, no, the purpose was to do less and to not work so much. So they didn't really talk about the difference between like productivity and efficiency. I don't know, if you've read that book.

Carla Reeves 20:21

I haven't, check it out.

Kate Kordsmeier 20:23

It's really good. I love it. I mean, it's, it's a great, it's a great strategy book for like how to run your business in a way that feels very, like I can do less. And, you know, the goal is that your business would quote, run like clockwork, that I just thought of that, when you were saying, like,

Carla Reeves 20:39

yeah, that's the natural solution we look to is like, if I can just get better, then I can do more. And then if I can do more and cross more off, then I'm gonna have more time. And it's just like, putting your dreams and goals sort of out in this someday land. And you don't ever arrive there, like you're saying. And so I knew that I needed to change the my relationship to time and the way that I think about it and talk about it, like I cleaned up my thinking, I cleaned up my language, like, I don't use the word bit, I'm busy anymore, like just just taking that out had a huge impact. So being real mindful of the way you speak about time, because that's literally creating your reality around it. And the idea that it is a relationship, if you start like, we all know, our time is so precious, right? It's limited, we don't know how much time we have on, it's so darn precious, I think to everybody, and yet, we don't treat it as this, like, we don't honor it, you know, and a lot of times we have this divisive relationship with it. And so you know, the scarcity mentality about it, and we're frustrated and mad at it, because we don't have enough. And if you can start to look at that, like our relationship and actually really start to shift that and respect time. And also take absolute responsibility for your choices around time. Because whether we realize it or not, and I was so unconscious about this, that that my that I was making choices that every moment about how I spent my time, and I was working with a coach years ago, and he had me do that some time tracking. And I had been saying, you know, I'm out to create this extraordinary marriage. And he had me track my time. And I had to come back with like, my tail between my legs, because I, you know, I had like, integrity is a high value for me. And here, I'd been saying this extraordinary marriage thing. And when I tracked my time, my husband was getting like the breadcrumbs at best of my time. And he said to think about your time, like, it's like your make every time you spend a bit of time it's like a deposit into an account, like into a bank. And I really started to look at that because it is you're investing your time in all kinds of places all day. And if you at the end of the day is that lining up to what you say is most important and your goals and what you're up to like such a powerful exercise. I don't know if that answered your question. I kind of covered a lot.

Kate Kordsmeier 23:26

No, it did it but it also gave me a few other questions. I wanted to talk to you about too

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Carla Reeves 25:42

Yeah. So I think a great first step is one just really getting aware of where you're spending your time. And I time tracking it sounds like such a drudgery exercise. But if you just had a tablet next to you and just started kind of noting throughout the day, like where you're spending your time, I think that, you know, that just gives you the data, right? Because in our head, like, in my head, I was creating an extraordinary marriage. And I was in like, I felt like my intentions were good. I felt like I was doing all the right things. It was a blind spot. So I think you need some data first to go like what's in the courage and willingness to like, really look at what are you doing? And because I think a lot of times we feel powerless around our time, we feel like we have no choices. We feel like we're at the mercy of the demands of our job of people in our life of like, all this stuff, right? And so I like to focus on, let's not worry about, like, let's not focus on trying to get more time, let's focus on eliminating all the places where we're allowing our time to be robbed from us because of our own choices.

Kate Kordsmeier 26:59

Yeah, so good. I mean, I think so many things people are looking for, like such a strategy of do this and do X and Y will happen. And it's like, so transactional, and I'm 100% guilty of this myself. And so much of it, I've feel like I've realized is just about becoming aware and conscious of things. And just in doing that, then everything can shift and you don't even really have to do anything. It's just being conscious of it.

Carla Reeves 27:27

It's so true. You know, and it was too simple. Like,

I think we want an answer that is

more complex.

Kate Kordsmeier 27:34

Yeah, I think our brains want to work harder than they need to. I don't know.

Carla Reeves 27:39

Yeah, well, I think people are like, Oh, that's so much work. But it is work. And it you have to be diligent, especially in the beginning, because you are, you know, really learning to do something differently. But think about how hard you're working already. It's just really shifting what how you're focusing that energy. And I love that you said like the simple shifts, because I like to help people like we think of these big sweeping changes, and like, especially changing the way you do time, like just sounds like this overwhelming thing. But if you literally just started focusing today on, you know, like, how am I talking about time? And how am I speaking about time, if you just started to raise your awareness to that, and focus on just showing up a little bit differently in this moment, and the next moment, and later today. And as you start to shift how you're thinking and what you're doing in the little moments, those little moments are what, ultimately ripple to the large change you desire. Yeah, and and it's doable, and it's manageable. Yeah.

Kate Kordsmeier 28:50

I think that's so true, how we how we think about time, and even I mean, it's like, like, attracts like, and we know that if we're focusing on I don't have enough time, I'm so busy. And that's what we keep telling ourselves is how am I ever gonna have the time to do all of this, I don't have enough time I need more time, then we're always going to be operating from this space of lack and scarcity. But what I have started doing when I start feeling those, the thinking those thoughts is that I tell myself and I'll write it down and I will put a sticky note on my computer and I'll put it on my fridge on my bathroom mirror and stuff. And it's a mantra that just says I have all the time in the world, and everything will get done. It's really simple. But when I start doing it, and then it's almost just like giving it over like put it on the universe's to do list. I don't know the how of how I'm going to get all this done, but I just trust that what needs to get done will get done. And you know, just like then vibrating in that space and that energy of I have all the time in the world I have all the time in the world and then I don't know something happens where it's like this. I don't know, almost metaphysical thing. It's like, I can't explain it, but somehow the time just opens up and then you do just get it all done. And it's just changing your thought.

Carla Reeves 30:14

It's exactly right. I it made me think of this weekend, life has been really full the last few weeks and my husband and I said before the weekend came, like, let's just remind each other to slow down this weekend and let's create that were the days are gonna feel long, and we're gonna have like plenty of time to get stuff done and relax. And like we did that weekend see mom, and so that actually works. I remember, I don't know if you've ever heard of Sark. She, okay, well, she wrote a lot of really creative fun books. And really, I think made personal development feel light and fun and super real and raw. But she would say like, invite the time stretcher in. And so I do that all the time. Like, I'm just going to invite the time stretcher in and trust, like you said that I have enough time to get everything done. That's most important. You know, even when, like this morning coming, you know, trying to get to the office to meet with you, I couldn't find my car keys. And I'm like, Okay, this is not a great time to get my car keys. But like, I just I bring in that trust almost in every moment that there's like, I can just trust that maybe maybe I need to be slowed down a little bit right now maybe I'm not supposed to hop on that freeway just yet. Like I really do, like think that if you sort of bring trust with you, and trust that whatever is happening, that interruption your child coming in and interrupting you like whatever is happening, like, I like to just think that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. And what needs to get done today, like you said it will. And one other story is that before my dad passed away, this last, this last year, year, year and a half, he he wrote a solid email, thank you. Like, I don't know, several months before he passed, he was the man of like, very few words. And he's not one to ever give advice. But he sent us all of us kids an email with like five things in it. And one of those things was a and he actually repeated it twice was slow down. And he put it in all capital letters. And my husband and I just are constantly reminding each other of that, because I know he saw something like watching all of us and kind of observing life later in his years, like just and I find that when I slow down, I'm actually more productive, more effective. My work is more clock quality. I'm more present, I'm more connected and what I'm doing. Like it's it's so counter intuitive to what we've been taught.

Kate Kordsmeier 33:12

Yeah, that just got me like very emotional to just thinking like, gosh, slow down Why? My friend Elizabeth and I are always talking about like, why are we in such a hurry? Why is everything feels like such an emergency, everything feels so urgent. And there's even like little practices that I've done trying to stop that urgency feeling. So like I only read, go through my inbox twice a week. And when I go through it, I put things into a folder either, like I don't respond to everything. As I'm going through it, I put things in folders and respond to later. And one folder is urgent need to respond ASAP. And one folder is non urgent. And of course, I get to the non urgent folder last and almost every time by the time I get to the non urgent folder and like this doesn't even need a response. I don't even need to do anything here. Like this actually only wasn't not urgent. It was just like it just and it's like such a small thing. But it just is such a good reminder sometimes of like when we just pause and give ourselves some space before we like rush in to do something. We often realize that oh, I don't actually even need to do anything here. Yes, exactly.

Carla Reeves 34:31

I love that. What a great you know, because in the moment it gives your brain like sometimes you just need to like like a you need a pocket to put things in you know that how great that you know that likely you don't have to do any of that. I think that's a great way and you just thought I had but when I hear urgent like I immediately like my energy, like you know get riled up and so you might even create a play with a different name for that folder that creates a different feeling. For you, unless urgent doesn't do that for you, but it definitely like, it just puts me on a little bit of like edge.

Kate Kordsmeier 35:07

Yeah, no, that's a good idea. I, I probably unconsciously does cause like, especially if I start to see that folder get full. And then I'm like, these are all urgent, you know, then that can create that kind of, like, tense energy of everything feels desperate.

Carla Reeves 35:25

Yeah, but if it was just important that Yeah, like, oh, like, that's an important thing. Yeah.

Kate Kordsmeier 35:32

I'm gonna think on that and like, what is it that I could do? And even just that would feel positive, because even important might cause the same and thinking, well, that might make me feel like, Oh, I'm ignoring this and it's important. But what if it I'm going to think on that I love this idea.

Carla Reeves 35:49

Where your words are so powerful,

Kate Kordsmeier 35:51

so powerful. So when we're talking about time to have you heard of Einstein time, hmm. Okay, I wonder if this spark Is this a woman? It is. Okay, um, how do you spell Sark? I was gonna look it up.

Carla Reeves 36:07

Yeah, it's s a r k. And it's, it's just an acronym for her name is Susan Ariel rainbow Kennedy goes by Sark.

Kate Kordsmeier 36:18

Okay, awesome. So I'm going to look her up. And I got it. Right, I wrote SARK down. So I don't know if she talks about this. But this is something that gay Hendricks talks about. I keep referencing all these books in the big leap, the leap, the leap, the big leap. Like a big leap is so good. It's something that I feel like is so above my like level of intelligence that I'm like, wait, what are you saying, but I think it's basically the same concept of like, when we operate from this space of, I have enough time I have all the time in the world. And everything that needs to get done will get done. It's like we enter this weird, like, black, I don't know what the term is, I'm probably using the wrong thing. But like this black hole of time, where it's like time kind of standstill and stretches out. Like when you said the time stretch, I'm like, I think that's what he's talking about. When he says Einstein time. It's this thing, like we can't really explain, but all of a sudden time just kind of like appears and how, you know, I've heard the the examples of like, you know, how the first time you hold your your child for the first time or something that it could be just 115 seconds or something, but it feels like an eternity, it feels like this really long thing. Or if you're stuck in that On the flip side, like if you're stuck in traffic, and you have to get somewhere, maybe it's only 15 minutes, but it feels like oh my gosh, this is taking forever. So it's, again, this like, adjusting our relationship to time and, and what it means. And when we just have some simple mindset shifts, it's almost like time expands. Totally,

Carla Reeves 37:55

it reminds me I am, you know, a lot of times in my mind, it can be like, Oh, I need to get to that project or that thing. And in my, in my mind, it feels like I need two or four hours to do that, you know. And there was a day where I was putting off this project that I felt needed two or four hours. And like it was getting too close. I'm like, you need to start on this project. And I was cooking dinner for my family and I was cooking rice. And I'm like I okay, I need to put the rice timer on. And I'm like, I'm just gonna sit down and work on this project for 20 minutes why the rice cooking. And I got I literally got the whole thing done in 20 minutes. And I love to use like time pockets like that I'll set a timer for even 10 minutes to see like what I can actually do and like 10 focused minutes. And what I think is going to take an hour I can sometimes do in 10 minutes, or at least I get going on it and then it's like I've made enough traction. I'm excited about it again, and then I'll schedule the time to do more. But it's working in pockets of time. I love I love that idea.

Kate Kordsmeier 39:06

Yeah, well, that reminds me too, of the concept of like, whatever time you allot for something is how long it will take. So if you say okay, I'm going to sit down for four hours and do this thing, then it's probably going to take your four hours and I'm going to practice and getting up and like going to eat and come back. Right? And if you just say I'm giving myself 30 minutes and you made me you know even like defining what's going to happen in those 30 minutes. I'm giving myself 30 minutes to work on this thing. Maybe it will only take you 30 minutes. Yeah, I love that. I remember the exact moment I hit publish on my very first blog post. So many feelings like hope and excitement and Oh yeah, that sneaky old imposter syndrome, too. Like who am I? Who's going to care about what I have to say? I also had so many questions about the day to day process of managing a blog. And perhaps my biggest question was exactly how do I master this tech of starting a blog from scratch? So that journey from beginner to six figure blogger created my new passion for helping entrepreneurs just like you start your blog from scratch the right way. Would you like to learn how to get started? Perfect, because I've just created a brand new free video training series to show you how to get your blog idea out of your head and into the world. You'll learn the number one paradigm shift happening in the marketplace today, plus insider secrets that will set you on the path towards moving the needle on your business in ways you never imagined. In this free training. I shared the number one mistake most people make when trying to grow their audience and revenue and what you should do instead. And just in case, you're sitting there thinking but Kay, I don't need a blog. Guess what you actually do? Even if you have no desire of becoming an influencer? I'll explain exactly why in this video series. Ready to learn more get free access by registering at successwithsoul.co/start. That's successwithsoul.co/start to get your blog started today. Let's rewind one of the things you said like 20 minutes ago. That was it was something about how how we feel like almost like we're taught you know that everything about hard work, and how we have to work really hard to get something if you don't struggle, if it's not challenging. If it's not hard to do, like then it's not worth having. Do you feel like that's something that you see a lot of your clients struggle with?

Carla Reeves 41:53

I do I do. And it's definitely something that I've struggled with, you know, it's like I just for so long, and I still value hard work, you know, but Well, I'll just I'll share with it as an example of a story because something happened this month that really proved me wrong in that sense. So the the idea of play, like really made me uncomfortable for a long time. And this year, as I was setting new goals, I wanted to like get better at adventure and play. And so one of the things I wanted somebody had actually it was Kelly, she shared this visual journaling class with me that she was taking. Yeah, the young girl in me just got so excited because I teach I've used journaling in the work that I do. And so this idea of visual journaling, the little girl in me was just like doing cartwheels. But the worker side of me was like, you know, that doesn't sound right. That doesn't sound like a good use of your time. And how can you sit around and draw or color you know, and so I did take the class I signed up for it in January was the first month of the full course. And I was so uncomfortable. The first couple sessions, like literally, we're coloring for an hour and my brain is just going crazy. Like this is ridiculous. What are you doing this is a waste of time and on and on and on. Anyways, I push through that. And January actually was my most profitable month in like, over a year, and one of my top months that I've ever hit. And so for me, that was just such great evidence, right, that work and play work, they go so well together. And that that relaxing practice that I'm incorporating into my life is actually fueling every aspect of my business. And it's just it's it's crazy, right? It's counterintuitive again to like everything that we're taught about like working hard. And it's not. I think, for high achievers, we think like, you know, we don't want to be lazy, and right. And I always tell my clients like when they worry about that like you could never be lazy, right? You will never be lazy. You don't have to worry about that. And I don't need her because I'm just a doer and I move at a high pace, but learning to incorporate play and relaxation and remind myself that these things give back to the way I mother the way I lead my business. The way I show up for my clients. It feeds everything.

Kate Kordsmeier 44:44

Yeah. I love that you will never be lazy. I mean, that's something I think we all have these again these stories that we tell ourselves and maybe it's set. It's something that we felt won somebody maybe somebody said an offhanded comment to us once years. Or maybe it's just so ingrained in our society and culture lazy. There's nothing worse than somebody lazy, but very few of us actually are. And if you are an entrepreneur, I think it's almost impossible to be to be lazy. And Kelly again, so this is Kelly Marshall that we're talking about. She actually has been on the podcast, let me find what episode she's been on, because she's very, very wise. Okay, episode eight was with Kelly. So I had kind of this breakthrough with her recently, too. And it was about something similar, it wasn't specifically about being lazy. But I'm always worried that like, the money is going to run out or I'm not going to have enough money. And I don't say this flippantly because I know many people struggle with money, and I am very, very privileged. But she was like, What if that wasn't your story? Like, what if there's other things maybe for you to worry about? But like running out of money or not having enough? That's just not one of them? What have you could give up that story? And like, how much energy would you free from not worrying about something that's never been the case for you?

Carla Reeves 46:12

Wow.

That is great.

Kate Kordsmeier 46:17

And I'm just thinking the same thing. Like what if we stopped worrying about becoming lazy? We, I mean, I know a lot of us we can like, I'm going to take a nap in the middle of the day, and you do it once? And you're like, well, I'll never work again because I took a nap. And then like, what is that just wasn't our story. We're not lazy. Let's move on. Yes, I love it. Yeah, so good. And I thought the same thing about play, you know, My son is two and a half, and he's getting into coloring now. And it's been actually so fun to color with him. And I find that, you know, his attention span is much shorter than mine. And so he's done coloring after 15 minutes or so. And I I stay in his book, like I'm using his what's it called Baby Shark book. It's like a coloring book with you know, of course, Baby shark is everywhere. And I'm using his Kranz and I'm drawing and bubble letters, like doing all these silly things that I used to do when I was a teenager. And it feels so good.

Carla Reeves 47:22

It's so good. Literally, in this class, she puts her paper the teacher, she puts her paper on camera, so we can like watch her hand drawing and coloring and sometimes we're just watching her. And I can't believe the relaxation impact that that even. So yeah, I'm just something like embrace that color in time, because it's probably fueling you in LA. Yeah.

Kate Kordsmeier 47:51

For sure. And same thing, like looking at, okay, you made time for play and adventure and rest. And then you had your best month ever. And I continue. Same thing of like what we were saying before of like, what needs to get done will get done. And I think back on 2020. And, you know, here I was saying like, man, I had a baby in May, it was a global pandemic. There's a social, you know, Justice uprising, I had no childcare. And I almost tripled my income for the year. And it's like, I worked less than I ever had, because I literally did not have the time and space to work. I had two kids at home with me and what needed to get done, got done. And it kind of you know, it always makes you realize like, dang. So all that other stuff that I was using to fill my time wasn't really making a difference in anything. It was just making me feel busy making me feel productive. But I wasn't actually doing anything.

Carla Reeves 48:54

Yeah, I'm so curious. So how did that inform what you're doing this year?

Kate Kordsmeier 49:01

Yeah, well, it's an easy lesson to forget is that now my kids are back in daycare. And it's like, great, I need eight hours a day to work again. But I'm really trying to tell myself like you didn't have that time last year and look what you were able to accomplish. And I've now set up a lot of systems in my business, like I don't do live launches anymore, unless it's the first time I'm launching something. So everything is on evergreen now. Everything is on autopilot. Like I'm very much have figured out like the 20% that gets me the 80% of the results. And I'm being really diligent about when I'm looking at my calendar for the week. I'm scheduling in like, this is time for movement. This is time for nature. This is time like I'm going to cook dinner and it's I don't I'm not going to want to because I'm going to look at my schedule and say, I don't have time to cook dinner I have this other thing that I need to do, but I'm going to do it anyway. And like fight that urge to just work work. Work, Work work work all the time, also recovering workaholic. And, you know, it's only January or it's February 2 today that we're recording this, but January 2021, was my very best month ever, as well. So and I didn't live launch anything, everything's just on autopilot. And so it's just another like, looking for evidence. Now I'm looking for evidence of like, instead of things that are going to keep me limited and stuck, I'm looking for evidence of like, Look, you didn't even live launch anything. And you had your best month ever. You worked less, and look what happened. And using that to like,

Carla Reeves 50:36

okay, so I can do this, this is real. Yeah, so good. Well, in You, you, you said something, you know that I'm not gonna feel like it, but I'm gonna do it anyway. And that's a concept that I use in my own life and with my clients is this idea of, you know, honoring your commitments, versus your feelings, because our feelings are literally like all over the place. And if you follow those, you're you might be all over the place, too. But if you really get clear about what you're committed to, and just show up to those commitments, like without all the overthinking about it, whether you want to or don't or feel like other, and like, that creates such powerful traction in your life. So good. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, I,

Kate Kordsmeier 51:28

I mean, obviously, I didn't invent any of these concepts is just like, really trying to embrace the I have all the time in the world. And what needs to get done, will get done that I think is the most powerful shift that's happened for me. But I love the idea of like doing the bank deposits from your time and really getting like, I've tracked my time, a lot work time, but I haven't ever done just like a day in the life tracking where it's like, I woke up at what time? And then how long did I lay in bed on my phone before I did something else? And then how long was it before I even said anything to my husband? Though, like, I think there are those things of I loved your example of I want this extraordinary marriage, and then you look at it and you're like, wow, he's getting the breadcrumbs. How am I going to create this extraordinary marriage from that?

Carla Reeves 52:21

factly? Yeah, and it doesn't, you know, it wasn't like a huge shift that I made. But it was really just like, Okay, my time I want my time, if somebody looks at the checkbook of my time, they're going to know, I value my marriage, I value my family, I take care of my business, you know, like, what do I want that to portray? is it telling the story I want it to tell about my life?

Kate Kordsmeier 52:49

Right, right. That's so good. The checkbook of your time. It's kind of scary, too, because I'm sure when you first do it, you're like, wow, nobody would be able to guess that. These are the things I value. And yeah, that makes me feel really.

Carla Reeves 53:07

Yeah, yeah, that's but then there's probably like a really good gem in there for you. Yeah, exactly.

Kate Kordsmeier 53:13

I've always feel like if you feel uncomfortable doing something, it's a sign that you need to do something good there.

Carla Reeves 53:20

Yeah.

Kate Kordsmeier 53:21

Yeah. Okay, so one last question for you. We've talked a little bit about this visual journaling. But I know you talk about journaling as a tool for navigating life as well. Is there a specific approach to journaling that you find the most powerful or Tell me Tell us a little bit more about your, your approach with journaling?

Carla Reeves 53:42

Yeah, so journaling. I've been doing it in my life since I was a teenager, but it became a really powerful tool, probably like, over 20 years ago. And for me, it's it's not so much the idea of, you know, like a daily diary of what I did and what I'm doing or what's happening, although sometimes it can be that it's really more of a tool to like, empty, my head, what's happening up here and get a little bit of distance from it to figure out, like, Who do I want to be in the face of this happening right now. And it gives me that distance to be a little bit more objective and sort of separate myself from my thoughts, to really make more intentional choices about my everyday living, you know, and so it's it, it's so many things, and I could talk for an hour on that. But I think, to try to keep it a little bit simple, it would be like a way to empty and sort of process what's happening in your life and be more intentional and powerful about how you show up to life. So it also You can tap into your own truth to instead of be swept away by life and what's happening to kind of get yourself grounded and centered so that you can make better choices and more intentional choices. That's really what I use it for. And I use it with my clients. And what's really cool there is that they journal online, and then I can read their journals. And so their journal sort of talks back to them. But I can help them use their journaling to reveal their blind spots. And where their thinking is that lens that's giving them the experience, they don't want to really then help them start to shift their thinking, to align more with what they do want. And so it's a really powerful tool also to use in conjunction with you know, doing this, some work in your life. But it's, it's really helps you get outside of your thinking, so that you're not run by your thinking,

Kate Kordsmeier 56:00

right? Which if y'all are anything like me, chronic over thinker over analyzer get way too caught up in my head. And I think there is something that's always been like, cathartic to me to write it down or say it out loud to somebody else is almost like once you make it more concrete, you realize it's so much simpler than you were making it in your head. So I always like journaling, when it's like, oh, I don't know what to do about this thing. And you know, I, there's a million different thoughts floating around in my head, and it feels like there's never gonna be an answer. And then you write it down, and you just write out, you know what you're thinking instead. And it just feels so much more concrete and approachable and simple.

Carla Reeves 56:44

Yeah, it's like laying in bed at night. And you're thinking about things that everything, at least for me, it seems like terrible, like doom and gloom. And then you wake up in the morning, and you're like, Oh, that sounds so bad. It's exactly the same thing. It's like you can feel like you're in overwhelm. And I can sit down for five minutes and just write out everything that's running through my head, even just the writing out of it, you feel better, because it's like, just get it out, give it some air and like to breathe. But then you can kind of organize it a little bit and really see like, Okay, what do I need to be worried about today? What said tomorrow thing, what's the next week and the next month thing and you just can like, I don't know, for me, it's like I can reorganize it, and sort of put it back together in a way that feels I feel like I have more control and influence and action. actionable ideas around? Yeah,

Kate Kordsmeier 57:32

yeah, for sure. So we normally do this lightning round at the end of our interviews, but I feel like we actually like naturally answered almost all of the questions that I would normally ask. So I'm just gonna ask the last one, which is what does Success with Soul mean to you?

Carla Reeves 57:51

Hmm,

that's a good question. For me, it means creating success. Or, for me, I guess I think about my business. And I think about really building something that has deep impact. But that also feels a really spacious, flexible lifestyle that I love, where I can feel in alignment with myself and what I believe and like, what I feel like I'm here to do on this planet, when all those pieces sort of come together. Like that's what it is for me. Yeah.

Kate Kordsmeier 58:31

So beautiful. Carla, where can everybody find you?

Carla Reeves 58:36

You can find me at Carla Reeves calm and then on Instagram at Carla threes. And I just started a podcast called differently. And so you can find that on your favorite podcast player.

Kate Kordsmeier 58:47

I love that name. So good. Thank you so much for being here. I love chatting.

Carla Reeves 58:54

Loved it. Love to do it again.

Kate Kordsmeier 59:01

Wait a minute.

I know I know you're eager to get back to your life. But before you turn off this episode, I want to share something super quick with you. I know you're probably sick of hearing other podcasters ask you to leave reviews. But here's the deal. If you like a podcast, and you want them to be able to continue delivering you free episodes every week, we need your support. If you subscribe on the apple podcast, Google podcast, app, Spotify, or wherever you listen, it makes it possible for me to continue to provide free helpful content and bring you amazing guests. And if you take it one step further by giving us a rating and review with your honest feedback, we can improve better serve you in the future. And you could even be featured on a future episode during our listener spotlights. Because if we don't get the reviews, we don't get the rankings and it makes it a lot harder to continue justifying the cost and time expense of producing a podcast every week and convincing amazing guests to come on the show. And of course your reviews are super helpful and motivating to me personally. And I love hearing from you. So on that note, we're going to end this episode with another listener spotlight. Here we go. This review comes from jewel D. She says I took the MBTI Myers Briggs test years ago when I was in the corporate world. As an entrepreneur, I didn't realize how much it mattered with what I'm doing now. It makes so much more sense. Jessica, This is Jessica but she's referring to from Episode Five is knowledgeable and funny. I'm also a visual learner. So I appreciate how she explains the different styles. She makes it easy to understand. Thanks for another great podcast Kate. Well, thank you Joel. I'm so glad to have you here and Jessica butts episode is one of my favorites, too.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai