053: The Secrets to Fast Podcast Growth with Kelsey Murphy

Kate Kordsmeier 0:00

Calling all busy and totally frazzled and overwhelmed Mama's, this episode of Success with Soul is for you. per usual, I'm your host Kate Kordsmeier. And today our guest Kelsey Murphy is here talking all about how you do not have to choose between having a successful career and spending time with your family. Kelsey obviously knows her stuff as a mama of two spirited kiddos and host of the whiskey and work podcast, a business and life coach and a Marie Forleo B school mentor. Kelsey wears a lot of hats and does it all so well. Now, Kelsey, and I have a bit of a funny way that we met and I don't want to spoil anything. So let's just get right into the episode. You're listening to the Success with Soul podcast with Kate Kordsmeier ex journalists turn CEO of a multi six figure blog in online business. But it wasn't that long ago that Kate was a struggling entrepreneur who lacked confidence, clarity, and let's be honest money. But all those failures, experiments and lessons learned helped Kate create a thriving business that impacts 1000s and brings freedom, flexibility and fulfillment to her life. If you're ready to do the same and make something happen with holistic, soulful, step by step strategies from Kate and other experts, you're in the right place. here's your host, writer, educator, Mom, recovering perfectionist, bookworm and sushi connoisseur, Kate Kordsmeier. Kelsey, welcome to the show.

Kelsey Murphy 1:36

Thank you so much for having me.

Kate Kordsmeier 1:38

I am so happy you're here. I was just saying before we hit record that a month ago, I didn't know who Kelsey was. And I got a brilliant Facebook ad popped up for me. And I was like, this copy is genius. I love it. went to her website went down the rabbit hole, signed up for your email list. And then after I got like two or three emails from you, I'm like, Yeah, she needs to come on the show. I love this.

Kelsey Murphy 2:06

I mean, you really can't ask for a better compliment than that. I feel like I write all my own copy. Right. And I'm super precious about it. And I just started doing Facebook ads this last year, right before that it was all organic growth. And so does someone come on and be like, yeah, like I totally spoke to me is like, ah, we got there. Yes. Like, no, it was the

Kate Kordsmeier 2:26

perfect combination of humor and realness. And then just also strategy. And like, let me help you get to this next thing. Let me you know, I loved it. So you're doing amazing work. And I was super impressed. Because the first thing I saw on your website was that you grew your podcast to a top 20 spot and 100,000 downloads in less than a year. What? Tell me all your secrets.

Kelsey Murphy 2:52

Oh my goodness. Yes. I mean, I, I wish I could say like, that was my goal. And I set this like, big, crazy goal. And I just went for it. But I really didn't to be honest. Like everyone had told me I'm a bit of an introvert. Right? So creating content, for me is very, very hard. It's coaching is my skill set. I love talking with people like one on one or in the small group settings. That's where like, I'm in my zone. And everyone was like, you know, you got to start creating content and putting things out there. And so I would write and kind of like I said, I'm a little precious about my writing. It's never good enough, right? So it would take me hours and hours and hours to write a blog post. So it was just painful. And I'm not great on video. Like, I just haven't cultivated that skill yet. So everyone had kept saying like, well, you're a coach, and you love to have these intimate conversations. So let's just let's set you up with a podcast and say, set set you up. That's like my friends, like my business friends like being like, hey, Kelsey, you're dumb for not doing a podcast, you know? And I'm like, Well, okay, I'll do it this year. I'll do it this year. And I thought about it for years, probably about three years. And then finally, I had watched a few of my friends, you know, grow their podcasts. And you know, you've got people like Amy Porterfield and all these these really great humans who are building podcasts and they're providing all this value. And you know, Amy is a bit of an introvert too. She doesn't love video, that's something she's really worked on cultivating and so I remember when I was talking to her she had said, Oh my gosh, like you need to get this out the door now and also you're going to hate your first few episodes like you're just going to hate him that's just what that's just what happens and it's almost like that took the pressure off of me like having these perfect first few episodes and yeah, I started to adopt a new mindset you know, of like you are doing this podcast, you know, just to just to further your your skill of being to talk about what you do and to kind of really hone in on your topics and you know, you know it's it was really interesting as I wanted this to be a business like this is a business goal, right? Like I'm not starting a podcast for fun. Like it was like to build my business, right? That is, that's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna like, navigate my way through this messy beginning and I'll get it out there. And so I recorded my first episode like before coming up with a name or anything, you know, I basically just recorded one episode with with a friend and I was going to launch it that month and I was about three months pregnant, I had a little two year old, and I was three months pregnant. And I was like, in the middle of getting ready to launch this, I had given myself a 30 day, like timespan I was like Kelsey, you got to get this out in 30 days. That's it, period. Like you can't you cannot wallow on this anymore. So yeah.

Yeah. And then I actually went to the doctor. And, and I mean, this kind of takes a sad turn, I we ended up losing the baby. And I and I know when I didn't know when I wasn't expecting that, because we had this great healthy first pregnancy. And we hadn't had any issues getting pregnant. And so we were in there. And I was with my husband. And I was with my little girl McKenna, who was about two at the time. And McKenna is like, they're delivering me this news, right. And they're, you know, they're the doctors are heartbroken when they have to deliver this news. They're like, let me show you this picture. Let me show you what's happening. You know, there's no heartbeat here. And you know, like when you hear that you're just tunnel vision kind of blacking out feels so surreal, because you're not expecting it. And, and then I look over and McKenna is like standing on top of like the counter, like has has pulled out like 20 gloves is like playing with the tongue to suppress depressors like she is giggling and like, you know, having the best time ever. And I just remember in that moment, seeing her and being so grateful, like, so grateful for her if nothing else happened, if we were never able to get pregnant again, like holy cow, the fact that I had her the fact that I have that little delight in that person making me laugh, all of a sudden, that was just like, raise to the top. Like, it shifted my whole world. And I walked out of there. And we had, you know, a lot of like family moments and some highs and lows that night and the next day, but I had all these due dates for the podcast. And of course, you know, I'm I'm definitely a family first kind of person. So my instinct gut was should you just put this on hold. And then everything shifted with the podcast, it stopped becoming about business, it stopped becoming mean about hitting due dates, or downloads or understanding the algorithm. And it became about McKenna. And it was like, whatever I put out there is like this is like, imagine if I just did 10 podcast episodes. This would be like a little time capsule for her to have for her entire life, she would have these little audio recordings of what mom was like, at this age, or what was mom like when she went through highs and lows in her life? And how did mom get through really tricky situations. And she'd had these little audio recordings of what that was like for me. And there was in that moment that I realized, like podcasting for me became so much more important. And it really you know, everyone always says, like, find your why I couldn't really find it until that moment, and it really was raised to the top. So I just decided, all of a sudden, I just literally got in my closet, and I recorded like three or four podcasts the next few days and was just like, they don't have to be perfect. They're not going to be perfect. I stopped wondering what topic to speak on, I stopped wondering if the outline was right, I stopped wondering if the guests were the right guests. And I just started doing it. I just started putting it out there. And after recording about three or four episodes, you know, we put it up. And I instantly recognized that this was a place of medium a platform that I could really get into, like I loved talking into the microphone in a very intimate way. Right? Like I'm very uncomfortable on stages, I get very sweaty, it's not a good thing for me.

Like it, that's not my zone of genius, but like put me with one person or by myself even to just like contemplate, like why this thing in my business was hard or why I'm having a tough time figuring out this next stage of life or why having kids and being a mom and running a business is so complicated, allowing me that space to explore that and then explain what I'm learning and what I'm understanding and how I'm working through that. I just became so much more significant and easy and and so I just started pumping out the podcast every week and really after that, like it was just a matter of me being consistent and me promising myself I was going to show up I started looking at it as like series of podcasts. So I didn't commit to like 10 years of podcasting. I was just like, hey, let's do another 10 and let's do 10 on this topic, or Hey, let's do another 10 and let's do 10 on this topic. And I started I tested out everything from like talking to nine to five career goers to talking to entrepreneurs to talking about podcasting to talking about copywriting and I started to test out like what do you like to talk about Kelsey? Right. It was so informational for me. It was almost like my my audio journal right and like learning it out there. And then after a little while, I started to get a lot of people like contacting me and being like, I love your podcast I love I love how real you are. But I also can tell there's like a business strategy. They're like, Can you show me how to do that? And that's when like, the light bulb started going off for me that like, oh, man, like, yeah, like you do have a strategy here like you are consistently following a pattern. And that pattern for me was was a perfect blend of being really honest and open and telling my personal story, but also then giving some like helpful tangible tips for other people to take with them. And something about that blend in that pattern really resonated with other people. And then I started teaching that to other people, right, and giving that pattern out to other people. So

Kate Kordsmeier 10:44

yeah, I mean, I love Well, not everything about the story. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

Kelsey Murphy 10:51

We have we have a second baby. Now I will say we have a little Danny, we got pregnant very quickly after that. So there's like a happy ending to the story. So I will say now two little girls that oh, I guess four.

Unknown Speaker 11:03

Okay, good. I'm so glad to hear that. Yeah. But it's funny, because you know, at first I'm like, this is gonna be one of those infuriating answers where it's like, the secret was, I just really was passionate about it. I loved it. And I was open and honest. And like, I always want like, but what did you do specifically? tool? What was the strategy? But then you kind of said, then, okay, was this combination, you can't have one without the other, you can have all the strategy in the world. But if you don't have that first piece, you don't have that. Why? If you don't have you know that, that authentic expression of yourself in it, it doesn't matter. So I'm glad that you said that. That was like the key to it all. And as you know, this podcast that we're on right now is less than a year old. So we're pretty new to and so I just think when I saw your story of like, wow, 100,000 downloads in the first year. It's like kind of unheard of like that is spectacular growth. So I just wanted to know, how did you do this? Yeah, yeah. So can you share some of like, what were some of the most impactful things you did strategy wise?

Kelsey Murphy 12:13

Yes. So I love that. Yeah. Let's nerd out on strategy for a sec. So I do think, like everyone has asked like, so the biggest thing that my podcast really does is it funds my business in the way that it's not the amount of downloads. I don't do sponsorships. I don't know affiliates like that. But it speeds up my sales cycle. And so when people come and listen, they will binge Listen, right? Like if you find a podcast you like you listen to like five or 10 episodes, right? through those five or 10 episodes, people have decided that I am their person, right. So then when they go to my site, they're much more ready to purchase at a really high price point. You know, because we built trust and right. And not everyone can do that. I will say it's not like Oh, just start a podcast. And it builds trust, like the content that you put out there, the way you structure your episodes is key to speeding up that sales cycle and building that trust. And what will happen then, is those people will share your podcast with their friends, right? So that kind of content, like the actual structure of what you're what you're saying what you're talking about. That is really important. And mine really is, like I, my friend, Alex had kind of taught me this system, but I, I really chunk it down into what do I want? From this episode? What do I want someone to know? What do I want them to feel? And what do I want them to do? Right? So I structure my episodes within that. And I also make sure I'm always telling a real world personal story, a real world example. Because the worst thing that you can do is have a podcast episode that's just talking at somebody right and being like, here's the three things you should do or here's what you should know. And here's what you should feel and here's what you should do. It's like Okay, okay, cool your jets like Take me in your world a little bit, right? So if I'm talking to someone about what I think they should know, I'm going to give them an example of how like I learned this or a client learned this or let me tell you how this shows up in the real world. Let me tell you some speed bumps that come along with this right and then when I want them to feel something usually I want people to feel empowered, or I want them to feel connected to me so I really clarify what do I want them to feel in this episode and then what do I want them to do? is very important, right? Like are you asking them to download a freebie Are you asking them to check out a you know a course that you have? Are you asking them to dm you like a lot of times for me it's asking people to DM me It's letting people know like listen like where you're going to cut connect with me best is if you DM me on Instagram, right. And then I have some dedicated times throughout the week that I will show up and I will go in and I will I will engage with those folks. So I have my boundary Freeze around that. But that's, that's honestly where I am able to go deeper quicker with people because a lot of my products that I have sold in the past few years are all high price point like they're all high price points. So I'm just starting to get into some more lower price points, some more affordable things in the last year. But knowing that, like I always wanted to have kind of a premium price point, like you need to develop a relationship, you have to build some trust before you're asking someone to invest that kind of money in you so, so that so the the content of the episode, the way in which you structure it was key, and having people pass it along and help build the downloads that way. So that is one. And honestly what I think is the most important, it's what has built my business. So I would say that is the key thing. There are a few other things for sure, that are going to help with downloads, I think that one of the biggest things has been for me when I get guests on, I make it really easy for those guests to share this podcast with their audience. And I think that has also been crucial. Because when you you know you're going to go pitch a million guests, right? Like I have this little say yes to the guest course. Right? And I'm like, pick your top 50 and expect one, right? Like it's a numbers game. But if you're going for some big shots, like go down your list of 50 go pitch them this, you know this way and and then expect one person right? And usually you get more right like that's that's like not like I think statistically, you're probably gonna get more once you craft that email the right way. But once you get that person, what happens after that is the most important part, right? Like you have this great episode. But then how are you making it easy for them to share it. So every time I do a guest episode, my guest when that episode goes live, they get this whole email for me that that I used to put together myself now I'm very lucky to have my assistant put it together. But they get about probably about 20 to 30 pieces of content that they can post an any form in which they want to everything from a little audio gram file. And the thing that they love the most is quotes, we pull quotes from the episode. So we give them about five or six quotes. So you know if you imagine this, if you think someone has come up to you, and they say, Oh my gosh, I listened to this episode, here is a quote that you said, I wrote it out on this pretty piece of paper, and I'm going to show it to you, you're going to reshare that, like that is something you're gonna you're gonna feel proud of that you're going to be like, Oh man, I didn't even realize I said that what like that is pretty smart of me right? Like, so we go through the episode and we pull their quotes out. And I will tell you those quotes get shared so much by that guest. Even if that guest was thinking they weren't going to share anything, they were just kind of coming on, just you know, just to do the interview, they will often end up either resharing from my account because I'm tagging them. Or they will take that email that I've sent them, which has about five or six different little like Google links, we send them all to a little Google folder. And I have differently they have that quote in any which way they want it. We've you know, designed that one quote that they said in a Pinterest format and a Facebook format and Instagram story format, right? And it takes two seconds. Once you have those templates in Canva, you have the right was in Photoshop, right like two seconds to do. But it makes a big difference in sharing, and then that whole audience will come to your podcast, right? Like then that audience is coming to your podcast. And I didn't realize that that was helping so much and the growth, but I could see that spike and growth when all of a sudden that person never shared anything of ours, but then we would share a quote and they would reshare it would be an instant uptick for us. So I think being really empathetic and understanding that your guests even though they're coming on your show, they're still busy, right? Like maybe even if they'd love to share stuff. It's just not top of mind for them. So how can you make it really easy for them to share and make them feel really proud of their work in their interview and the time that they spent with you it's almost a really good reflection and it's a really good relationship builder like that becomes really cemented in their head. And so then they can put that out into the world.

Kate Kordsmeier 19:28

Hey, you

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Kelsey Murphy 22:25

So that's a great question. It's pretty much a 5050 split. And when I first started, I honestly was so insecure about podcasting, like cringing at my voice, like cringy and I could not get through like listening to myself even record the intro and have to like, listen to which one it was like, it was so tough for me. So I had had told myself, and this is a crazy number, right? So I said, I'm gonna do 10 podcast episodes to decide if I like this, right? This is gonna be like 10 podcast episode series. And if I like it, I am going to do 50 podcast episodes before I critique myself, before I listen to myself, before I make any adjustments I got to get through 50 podcast episodes. And that was like, yeah, it was just a number I picked that felt like really big. That was like, Don't worry, Kelsey, you this is not going to be a project where you do something and then you go back and critique it and it needs to be better. It's going to be 50 episodes of you just getting in the closet of you just chatting of you just like having like, you know, my best friend from college on as a as a guest, you know, and like my high school buddy is a guest and just like getting comfortable being a good interviewer. Like, I gave myself that number. But it wasn't until like a really thought about that number. And I said out loud to my husband, and he was like, so you're not going to critique yourself for a whole year, I guess for a year and not and I was like, Oh, it's gonna take me a while to get to 50 isn't it that like I needed a lot like I like I'm hard on myself, I knew I needed a lot to feel like I could step out of that beginner phase. So I decided in the very beginning to do two episodes a week. So I did an interview on Tuesday, and then a solo show on Thursday and my solo show was only 20 minutes but if you look at my downloads, exact same amount of uptick for both of those so the interviews are about 60 minutes solos we're about 20 same same amount of downloads for both of those, we drag them for a really long time. And then once I got really comfortable once I felt like I was in my groove, I had this down then I slowed my roll a little bit was like a lot a lot of content to create. And I started doing every other week so usually I do an interview and then the next week is a solo or an interview to solo or like when I went on maternity leave, you know with my kiddo there there was like six interviews in a row right like and then I did like a couple like solos in a row but um but it's about a few 5050 split for me.

Kate Kordsmeier 25:01

Gotcha. How far in advance? Do you generally work on your podcast?

Kelsey Murphy 25:05

Yeah, um, it depends what day you're going to ask me that or what days or when it is right. So I felt very proud of myself when I had Danny, little Danny girl. I had her in February. And I probably had, I mean, I would say almost four to five months worth of podcasts done at that point, I had done a couple solo, but like, just like interviews, and so I had to batch to like six months, the fact that I could get that batch that much and feel really good about it was shocking to me. And I was like, Oh, my gosh, like, your world is your oyster when you come back. When you write like it is mind blowing. But I'm here

Kate Kordsmeier 25:43

because I had my second daughter, a second child, a daughter, who was born in May, and I batched. Five months. Yes, podcast episodes, two. And now if you asked me, I'm like, oh, we're about two weeks ahead.

Kelsey Murphy 25:59

So and it will depend if I'm in launch mode, right? If I know I'm going to launch something really big, I will probably batch between four to six weeks. Like I like if I'm in a big launch mode, probably four to six weeks. But like right now, I'm two weeks ahead, right? Like right now I'm two weeks ahead. Like once in a blue moon, if it's like you catch me in the middle of December, like I'm like, Hey, guys, the podcast will come out tonight, I promise. Tomorrow, right? once in a blue moon, like it will be like a quick follow up. But um, but I think on average, you know, like, if I have something big coming up, like a maternity leave or a launch, I batch them, which feels really good. And that's when like organized qlc comes out. And then probably on average, I'm more like two weeks ahead.

Kate Kordsmeier 26:43

Yeah. Okay, that makes sense. So, gosh, there's so many other things I want to talk to you about. But before we end, the podcast, conversation, anything else you want to share about? Like one of your best strategies for growing anybody who's listening who's like, really just, I've been doing this podcasting thing for a while, and it's just not taken off? What can I do?

Kelsey Murphy 27:07

Yeah, I would say, the other big thing is to try to get yourself on other podcasts. And really, because you you talk to an aligned audience, right, you're talking to people that care about the same thing. So really pick your podcasts that you pitch yourself to strategically and don't go for the big ones, right. Like you don't need to go try and get on Amy Porterfield podcast, right like you. I mean, that would be amazing. I'm sure you would love to have you. But in the interim, while you're building kind of like getting your chops a bit go for much smaller podcasts that have an aligned audience, right, like those will actually significantly uptake your downloads more than you think because it is an aligned to target. But also, those are podcast listeners, right? Like that is the thing is like when you want to grow your podcast, like yes, you can talk about it, you can go and speak about it in groups, you can talk about it on Facebook, you can do all of those things. But you may not be talking to people that that care about podcasts, they may care about your thing. They may be potentially your clients one day, but maybe they're just not podcast listener. So when you can pitch yourself to go be on other podcasts, you're talking to an aligned audience. That's already podcast listeners, it's just like the filter to get in is so much less and, and you and I were talking before we jumped on about like that podcast pitch, like kind of like, yeah, I have, right. Like, I would say I would tell everyone to build that, you know, like I would say, go into Google Docs, put your little bio in there. Write out what are the five questions, you know, that a podcast host could ask you, you know, what are five things you love chatting about, you know, create that once and you never have to create it again, you've got your kind of pitch document that you just send out to a bunch of people. And you'd be shocked at how many people actually say yes to having you on their podcast, right? Because I feel like that is content for them. Like when, you know, when people pitch me, it's very hard for me to say no, because I'm like, this is great. There's another week of content for me, you know, so I would say you know, be brave throw together a little podcast, you know, media kit, a little pitch template and get yourself in in the sight of people that already are loving up on podcasts, you know? Yes.

Kate Kordsmeier 29:23

Great advice. And for anybody listening who's like, Oh, yeah, how do I pitch myself the podcast? Remember that we have Episode 41 with Angie Trueblood and episode let me find it. Episode 29 with make a saying all about how to be a guest on other people's podcasts. So go listen to that. If you're like yes, I want to do this, but I have no idea where to start. Okay, thanks so much for sharing such a great story. Now I saw that on your podcast as well. You've had people like big celebrities on your podcast Jessica Alba. Jennifer Garner, Molly Sims, like, how, how did you get these?

Kelsey Murphy 30:05

I haven't had those folks on my podcast, what I've had is, is their nutritionist. So Kelly lovak. From? Well, by Kelly, she is a friend now, a client of mine, and she works directly with them. So. So I've had people like, you know, like Amy Porterfield and Marie Forleo, and the, you know, Pat Flynn and those lovely, amazing humans, but, and I have had this celebrity conversation with people before because I am very close to Kelly, Kelly and I are very good friends and people are like, get Jessica Alba on your podcast, like, how can we make that happen? And it's so funny, because it's not like I would ever say no to that clearly, you know, like, no one's none of us are gonna say no to that. But when it comes to like, pushing to get people on on your podcast, like I probably pitched Pat Flynn, multiple times. Because for me, having people like that on my podcast, like kind of more of like online entrepreneurs or moms that are starting businesses, you know, that are very relatable and people can hear from like those, honestly, those podcasts do better for me. And they're more enjoyable for me. And my ability to get those people on my podcast takes so much less energy and effort. So I'm always weighing like, well, how much energy and effort will it cost me to get this kind of person on my podcast? And what is the return on that kind of investment of energy, you know, an effort like what's the return truly going to be for me, and I haven't yet had the problem of needing to get more and more and more people into my kind of into my sales funnel, right? Like, I think that if I was going to kind of create this like little mini Empire, right, where I wanted to have like, 20 people on my team instead of five, then yeah, I'm gonna hustle my buttons and get get Jennifer Gardner and just get Alba and start building and growing. But for me, like I got to low girls have a very successful business. Right now I have a team, a small team that I absolutely adore and love. I've got clients like Kelly and a handful of these incredibly well connected, beautiful sold humans that you know, are part of my business. So right now the way that my business is built is is exactly the way that I want. I'm like looking for where Where's wood I can knock on right now, you know, because I feel like you get to these Growing Pains when you start to create a successful business where you're like, Okay, what's the next step Am I going to continue to build Am I going to go wider Am I going to go deeper like, so I have kind of chosen in the last year or two not to go so much wider, which would be getting kind of like a Jessica Alba or someone like that on your podcast to go much wider to uptick, those numbers, I have kind of chosen to go deeper with the audience that I have. And that is building the business. So significantly, for we had the biggest business growth year ever this last year. And it's because I went deeper with the people in my current audience and I started offering them more things for those same people versus trying to spread out too wide, you know, clearly still have like a new leads filter, like you saw the face, right? Like, yeah, there's a little a tiny bit of that going on to bring in some new leads. But that's not a big, big part of my growth plan. Because we ran those numbers, if we went after that, which could absolutely be a strategy, you're just building a different kind of business, that's going to require a different, a different person to show up a different skill set, right, I would need a bigger, I need a C suite team kind of to help me be building a lot of those things. And for me, at this point in my business, that's not the dream. I mean, more finances is the dream, absolutely more income. But there's a way to do that by going deeper and offering different things versus going wider, you know? Yeah,

Kate Kordsmeier 33:58

I mean, again, I knew that we had a lot of commonalities here. And that's totally the approach I've been taking in my business lately too, is instead of having more of those pocket products and more of the smaller that can reach as many people it is that deeper, not wider mentality. Now I'm going deeper with more high ticket high touch, you know, group coaching programs and things where I can really know my clients on that level of like, I know what's happening with them. It's so much more, I think, rewarding. And, and, you know, I think there's something to have like the adage of those who pay pay attention. And not to say that you have to charge high rates or something like that, but that I see the difference and the people who are just like, Oh yeah, I'll spend 20 bucks to just try this thing or I'll collect this freebie and they don't show up for themselves. And that can be really frustrating as a coach too.

Kelsey Murphy 34:54

Yeah, I am one of those people like I know, the more skin I have in the game, the more I'm going to value that time. And that energy and effort I'm putting in there, right? Like, that's just, I have friends that laugh at me all the time that you know, business coach friends that are like, I'm going to give you this advice, Kelsey, but I know you, and you're going to need to pay 10 grand for that exact same advice before you. And I'm like, Oh, you're so right. Like, for me, there's like this competitive spirit where I need skin in the game, in order to take myself seriously, you know, and like you said, show up for myself, like I show up for myself in a different way. When all of a sudden I prioritized this monetarily in a different way, you know, totally, totally.

Kate Kordsmeier 35:37

So tell us a little bit. I mean, I love that you also are a mom, and this is what stood out so much in your emails that made me be like, I have to invite you on the show. Because the way you talk about being a mom, and running a business was just so relatable to me. And I know that you've, you have kind of said in the past that people often think you can either have a really successful business, or you can be a mom, but doing both is very difficult, if not impossible. And you're living proof that that is totally not true.

Kelsey Murphy 36:11

It's talking about that, yeah, oh my gosh, that like breaks my heart Even just to hear that, like I like I have like, almost like PTSD, like and remembering being in the corporate world. And, and just looking around and trying to find those female mentors, that were living the life with their family, and also having the success in their career both at the same time and being really happy with the way you know, the rhythm of that, like, I'm hesitant to say the work life balance of that, you know, the work life rhythm of that feeling really happy and proud of that. And, and I and I could not find that, you know, for the life of me, like maybe there was one or two exceptions, but they truly were exceptions, right. And it just, it made me so sad. It made me feel like okay, like, you are going to have to give up one of these in order to have it. And people would say, well, you can have them you just can't have them at the same time. And I'm like that, but with kids their time is it like, right, you know, like, I don't want to be in my prime earning years. And then my kids are, you know, babies and toddlers, but I can't hang with them. Because it's my prime earning years. And then you know, like, like, that was just not that was a deal breaker for me. And I grew up with a stay at home mom. So I had always assumed that I was going to just do my corporate thing and like make my money and and then quit you know, and then basically get married, be a stay at home mom and like that was going to be my jam, right. And as I got to know myself more, I realized I do want to be home for these kids a lot. Like I am the weird mom, that literally like sitting in plain blocks with my baby. Like I haven't read, especially a lot of entrepreneurs that are like That's so annoying Kelsey, like we're, we that is not for us. And I'm like I know, I know, I myself sometimes like but like that makes me happy or like, I love going to the grocery store with my kid. Because I'm not rushing around trying to check the boxes in the grocery store. Like I'm going as an experienced like I'm going because I want us to both look at the zucchinis and see the color of green that they are and talk about where they come from and, and other people, other moms have those moments and experiences with their kids in different ways. Right just at the time, like especially with McKenna that was the grocery store experience that I was having with her because I was able to be home and to chill and to not feel rushed to do laundry and to feel rushed to go to the grocery store like that was part of our daily experiences together. And I remember just thinking I wanted that I remember having those moments with my mom. And so it was really important to me to go out and find a way to do that. And I just you know, hunkered down and searched for every person under the sun that I could find. And that's when I started to find more of this online business more of coaching, I found more women that were actually doing that, but they were doing it and kind of this alternative online business way. And that's I kind of started to study them. That's how I became familiar with Marie Forleo and met her and connected with her a little bit more. But I just I didn't realize that this was something that I felt so passionate about and that other women were feeling that pain point too, and they weren't able to see how you could do it until I started like talking about a little bit on my podcast and I started to talk about how like that's, that's going to make you feel like you're chopping off a limb if you have to give one of those things that because you are literally chopping off a part of yourself right like that person. And not everybody is but if you're that person that wants a bit of that stay at home mom, really integrated with your kids kind of a life but also want to be successful and not just financially successful. But you want to be doing something that is exercising your intellect and your brain and makes you feel confident and proud of yourself. There are ways to do that. There are so many ways to do that. And as I started to talk about that more, I got a ton of feedback from people being like Oh my gosh like thank you so much for saying that. Can you show me how to do it people are like that's really great like how do I actually do it which is when I started my coaches mastermind right like then I started this coaches mastermind Where is teaching people how to be different kinds of coaches and helping them you know, learn how to talk to people how to do coaching sessions, but then how to build a website around it, how to create an offer around it right, then I went into this world because I realized I was doing a lot of talking about it, man agree that a business planner, and I created this whole three year Manifesto, and I taught people my process of how I organized my life, and my business in a way where I only did work three days a week, you know, like, where I was home with McKenna for most of when she was an infant and a baby and even a toddler. It wasn't until like, I feel like Ken and I both had like this come to Jesus moment where she was like, screaming in the middle of the room, and I was almost in tears. I was like, Oh, you're two and a half, you need some more. Three,

like, quickly turned into three full days and was like, oh, wow, like, okay, we're you know, and, and that's how you evolve as a parent. I'm, it's funny, because with Danny, now I am I am figuring out my rhythm and balance with her right? Like, I love being home with her. Um, but I also want her to have social interaction. And she's one and I didn't feel that way with Ken out with Ken. I was chillin, we're hanging out for, you know, till she's at least two, two and a half. And Danny at one I'm like, I maybe you could use a little more interaction. So it's like, we've been dabbling and giving her a couple hours here with her sister, you know, with this nanny, and I know, and I just think it's important as a mom to have that freedom to do that to explore what is working for you in that time. And so yeah, I didn't realize that was such a big deal and that other people were feeling that same pain point, but ended up creating whole business around it. Right. And those are Yeah, people that want that same thing. You know.

Kate Kordsmeier 42:07

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And I know this is like not something you can answer in a, you know, the 20 minutes we have left together, but I think it's definitely something I can relate to. I've got two kids, a nine month old and a 29 month old and so you know i? Oh, yeah, I'm in the thick of it. It's Yeah. And then you know, last year, obviously COVID hit and I mean, I there were many times that I remember saying to my husband, I am not a stay at home mom for a reason. Like I can't be with them

all day every day. It's

like I'm not cut out for that kind of thing. Like I need that other piece too. And I mean, there's certain times where it was like well, in the first let's see May was when my daughter was born so you know over the summer it was well I was on maternity leave that was different because it was a break she was brand new, you know I can do that. But then I start itching to like okay, I want to go back and childcare wasn't exactly like the you know, there was no obvious choice of like, well Cray do we feel comfortable going back to daycare and so, so we really had to like figure some things out. Now both of our kids are back in daycare full time, but that started In January, and so all of 2020 we had both kids home with us full time with no childcare. And both of us working full time. And I'm curious, you know, COVID aside really like, what is your method for doing both? Because I found it very difficult.

Kelsey Murphy 45:19

Oh, my goodness, I there is nothing not too difficult about working and being a mom. But then when you try to cram them in the same hour together, it's it's literally impossible. Like you're trying to do two full time human jobs at the same time. Right. So it's like, I think there's been a lot of research and a lot of articles written in the last year on like, how hard it is for parents, especially parents with young kids that have

Kate Kordsmeier 45:45

no sufficient? No,

Kelsey Murphy 45:47

it's it's it's literally not physically possible. So, you know, everybody's different. So I mean, I'll share my personal experience and how I do it, but everybody's kind of got to find their own groove and their own rhythm. I cannot do work and kids at the same time period. And like adults, like I can't I it's very hard for me even to do work when the kids are napping, right? So a lot of people are like, oh, like naptime hustle, I'm not good at naptime. hustle. Like, that doesn't mean I have a constant like thing hanging over my head saying this, this little Munchkin is gonna wake up. And I don't want to be annoyed that she's waking up. Unless it's like, I'm having me time. And I'm like, oh, like, I want to finish that episode of something. I don't want to feel, I don't want to feel that push pull of work. So that was kind of like a hard rule for me, especially when McKenna was growing up in the beginning with Danny, it was like it's work or it's kiddos. And that's just the way my brain works. It's, it's what allows me to be really present with them. Now, that may mean if I am in a season of growth, or a season of building, that may mean on a Saturday morning, I've taken two hours to myself, and Colin and I are handing the kiddos off, right? Like, I may, you know need to have like one work date night with a friend, right? Where it's like every Tuesday night, I used to always go when you know, the world was normal, I would go DJs with my friend, and we'd sit there with wine. And we'd work for a couple hours together, right. But that was my trade off. Because I wanted all my Mondays and Fridays free. Like I didn't want to do a single meeting, I didn't want to single thought like everything was clear on Mondays and Fridays. And so when COVID hit, I mean, that just turned my whole world upside down. Because it was like there there is no separation here, right like there is you have to figure out a way to to make this work with them home. And that was really tough in the beginning. Because I think that you have those realizations about yourself. And then you feel like you feel guilty, like you are trying to multitask and do two things at once. And when you do that you're just not good at either, like not performing to your optimal level at either of them, which at times like this is okay, because you're in survival mode. So honestly, there was a period for a little while where we had to figure out what our options were. And a lot of that was like a, you know, my husband and I working our schedules around really dedicated present time, you know, so it was gonna take them for this, these few hours. And it was a constant rejiggering, right we'd we'd start on Sunday night, we'd look at our schedules and be like, okay, when can you take them? When can I take them? When can we have time together? Right, like, and then by Monday, that would change. Right? So

like, okay, so we

got seven more meetings on the calendar, right. And we had to say no to a lot more my business growth, like my business growth continued to, to be great in 2020. Because every mom was trying to build something for themselves. Every mom was like, holy cow, get me out of this corporate job. I don't want to have a boss anymore. I want to control my own schedule. Like I still want to make this kind of money. But if I could do it working on a Tuesday night and a Saturday morning, that's so much easier for me, right? So I had so much growth, however, I probably had about five or six projects planned that absolutely got wiped to 2021 that literally I'm scheduling right now, right that I just had to let go of something. So I think in extenuating circumstances like this, like if you get pregnant if like you have a loss in the family, if COVID hits, like you do have to recognize like you have time to do these things. You just may have to let go of a few things, push them back six months, and yeah, allow yourself to not feel so make it feel so painful, right? If it's feeling so painful, and you cannot possibly do it, then it is okay to push it back. And so we had a lot of projects for my business that we ended up pushing back. So, you know, I think it was a little bit of that. And I also recognized like my mental health was deteriorating fast in the beginning. Oh my goodness, right, like because you just, you don't even realize what you're telling yourself, but my end internal dialogue at the end of every single day, all of a sudden was like, well didn't get that done again, well, like move things to tomorrow. And then by Friday, there's about 700, things you didn't get done for the week, that you're just the whole time. You're just kicking yourself every single night before you go to bed. You're reorganizing your to do schedule are your list, recognizing how many things you did not do so right. When that started to affect me, I took a step back. And I went back to an old practice where at the end of every day, before I looked at my to do list before I closed out the day, I would write down 10 things that I did that I was proud of myself for doing that day. And I instantly started to retrain my brain to recognize, Yes, you did not do all these things. But look at what you did do. And all of a sudden, my internal dialogue became much more positive. Because I think as moms, we're already hard on ourselves, right? But like, working moms is just like, you know, it's just bananas. So getting to the end of the day, and really retraining your brain creating that new neural pathway, recognizing that we've maybe we've been ignoring that, because we haven't had to pay attention to it before 2020. Because we were you know, we were doing pretty good. We you know, we have it. So I think recognizing that, like, you may need to re pick up that habit to retrain your brain to recognize I'm doing so many good things. Yes, I have a million more things to do. And yes, my to do list went sideways today. But look at all the great things that I did do. And then that will create resilience to be more successful and productive The next day, you know?

Kate Kordsmeier 51:32

Yeah. I love that advice. And I also love that you. I mean, there's so many people that could say, well, I had to wake up earlier, and I had to stay up later, and I had to hustle harder and I had to do you know, and it's like, I love that you're like, Oh, I just started saying no to some things, and I just push things off. And, you know, I think there's a million ways that you can look at some stuff like this, whether it's the 8020 rule, or just prioritizing things, whatever. But we also I mean, I worked less in 2020 than I've ever worked in my life, because I physically could not. And my business almost tripled in revenue. And it was just like such a good reminder of Oh, right, because it's not always more hours equals more money, more success, more happiness, whatever it was like. And I still I mean, I even as I'm saying it out loud. I'm like reminding myself of that tool, because it's so easy to feel like, oh, if I just had more time, though, that would be the thing. And it's like, it's really not sometimes it's about figuring out, what are the couple of things that you can do that will move the needle most that will light you up the most that will, you know, bring you the most satisfaction and letting go of the rest. And you're so right, maybe you can pick them up later. Maybe it's not saying no forever. It's just like, no, not right now. I'm putting that on the list for next year or for next quarter or whatever to revisit. And I think that is so key, whether it's a pandemic or not, you know, the idea of being able to stay home with your kids and run a successful business. It does require saying no to some things. And I think the thing that a lot of people when they hear that they think, Oh, cool. So like, I'm home with my kids all day with no childcare whatsoever. And I'm running this business, and it's like, well, no, that's not

Kelsey Murphy 53:30

miserable to me, like your Lord, like, Don't put yourself through that.

Kate Kordsmeier 53:35

Yeah, so I think we just have to be realistic to to say no, like, there are hours where you're working. And I love that you have this more compartmentalised way of like, when I'm with my kids and with my kids, and there's not because it is the what is the most frustrating thing is like, finally getting to sit down to work and when they're supposed to nap, and then they don't know, oh, it's just like, no, it's

Kelsey Murphy 53:58

the worst. Like, I feel like I can physically feel that right now. You know, and, and, and there are moments where that has to happen, right? At the end of the day, that may happen. But like, as long as that's not your normal, right? As long as that's not what you're scheduling, or if you're in a zone where that has to happen, making sure that you're making a plan for that not to be your normal, like, you know, when you're building the business, yes, you have to make sacrifices and you are hustling a little bit more and you are putting more hours into it. But you should be putting those hours in to build the business that has the space right to build the business that does not require you to work when the kids are napping. So that eventually you you know, that's when I've made it. Oh my gosh, that's when I'm here. And it's always gonna change. I mean, it's funny that you brought that up. I was just thinking, just this week we have this amazing, amazing childcare gal she just only takes McKenna and one other girl so right it's this like super safe, confined thing and it's at her house and she's been taking dance One or two days a week, we've just like selectively been dropping Danny off when we when we need a break. And I've been thinking about taking Danny more on on Tuesdays right? Like, I'm going to drop her off on Tuesdays. And I tested it out a couple times, because I just launched another round of my coaches mastermind. So I just brought on a bunch more gals. And I really wanted to give them the time and the energy, the effort. And so I started dropping Daniel for Tuesday's, and I was just so sad about it, to be honest, like I was just like, you know, I don't know that I need to give up my time with her on Tuesdays to still show up in the way that I want. And so the last couple Tuesday's I've been testing out having Danny home, and what's amazing is my content is 10 times better. The way that I'm showing up for these women is 10 times stronger, because I'm doing something that I am happy with, right? Like I am a fact that I have Danny on Tuesdays. And I won't always be like that it will change, right? Maybe some times will be busier, sometimes you won't. But right now I just recognized like, it's not the hours that you're hustling, yes. Could you use an extra day of work? For sure we all could, that would be amazing. But like, are you happy at the end of the week? If you're giving that day up? Or are you happier? And are you more productive in your hours? If you have that day with her? And it was like this like aha moment that I was like, Well, I'm glad I let myself test that. And I'm also glad I'm letting myself like take it back and like retry something new, you know. So it's just yeah, giving, giving yourself grace to try things out. And I know that it's gonna change, like, you're going to change seasons, sometimes you're going to want to work more, sometimes you're going to be home with the kids more, you know,

Kate Kordsmeier 56:40

right? And I mean, kids change so much like so some stages are more enjoyable in some stages. And

Kelsey Murphy 56:47

you take them on fun. Yes. Oh, wait, and you are right in the toddler phase. So it's like it changes nightly like you. Like, I've got it like, I've figured this out. And the next day like, nope, no,

Kate Kordsmeier 57:00

I know nothing. Yeah, totally. But I think that's exactly it is that it's gonna be so personal to each Mama, and you got to figure out what works for you and give yourself that grace in that space to try things. And I mean, that's exactly like, this is all pre COVID to my son Jackson was born in 2018. And I didn't want him to go straight to full time daycare, I was like, and this is why do I work for myself, if not to be able to stay home when I want to and be with him when I want and to just do what I want in general. But this isn't to say, if you don't want that you're a bad mom, or there's something because what ended up happening is I eased into it. And it was so nice to be able to do that. And probably by the time he was nine months old, he was in full time. And I didn't have to start there. And that was so nice. And I got to say, yeah, and some days if I don't want to send him, I'm not gonna send him and I don't have to ask anybody else permission or you know, clear anything with my boss or anything like it was just like you're the one who gets to decide. So. Yeah, I love it. Okay, we are coming up on the end here. I could talk to you forever. But let's see, we have a lightning round of questions that we ask everybody at the end.

Kelsey Murphy 58:20

Bring it on?

Kate Kordsmeier 58:21

Yes. So but before we do, I saw that you have a free gift for our audience. So I want to have you share that. It's called How to plan your business. And we'll have a link to download in the show notes. Can you tell us a little bit about it?

Kelsey Murphy 58:34

Yeah, yeah. So yeah, I guess that falls in really nicely, kind of with what we're talking about. Because everybody's always asking me like, Oh, so great. You plan this kid time, on time, and also your business? Like how do you actually do that? So I take people through my exact process of like, I create this three year Manifesto. And I do my like, a little visualization, and then I break down kind of like five areas to focus for myself. And then I talk about how I how I plan my week based off of that, like what I put on Mondays, what do I put on Tuesdays, like when are my like really strong hours to work? So, um, I didn't realize people were so interested in that and the last few people are like, give me your system. Give me your methods. So yeah, if you go to that, you can go to KelseyMurphy.com/howtoplan and if you go there, it will take you through kind of my process of how exactly how I do that. Yeah, people are people are loving it right now. Okay, great.

Kate Kordsmeier 59:33

I love it. And where else can everybody find you? If they want to keep following along?

Kelsey Murphy 59:38

Yeah, um, so I mean, you could definitely come listen to my podcast. It's called whiskey and work. But besides that, you could come say hello on my website at Kelsey Murphy comm check, peruse around their stock, check things out, see what you like what you don't like. And then I am frequently on Instagram with my children all the freaking time. I'm not like a huge instagrammer but if you I'm big Instagram Stories person. So if you see that and you want to DM me and come say hello, let me know you heard me on this podcast. That's always a really fun way for me to get to know you and to connect and go deeper.

Kate Kordsmeier 1:00:17

Awesome. Love it. Okay, lightning round. You ready? Ready? Okay, what is your favorite way to make time for self care?

Kelsey Murphy 1:00:26

Probably to listen to some Macklemore and go on a walk around the block. Nice, nice.

Kate Kordsmeier 1:00:36

How about one tool or strategy that you use to help with time management.

Kelsey Murphy 1:00:42

I would say my my iCal, everything on my to do list is blocked off on my iCal. So I got 30 minutes to write an email, I got 30 minutes to write an email.

Kate Kordsmeier 1:00:55

And you really stick to it,

Kelsey Murphy 1:00:56

I stick to it. And if I can't make it work, then I drag that 30 minutes to somewhere else in my week immediately. So it's like immediately plugged in somewhere else.

Kate Kordsmeier 1:01:07

That's smart. I like that. Because sometimes I'll say, okay, for the next hour, I'm doing this thing, but then I'm not done with it. And then I just keep going, and then it throws everything else off. So that's smart,

Kelsey Murphy 1:01:19

which which I do at times too. But then I look at what I have next. And that gets dragged over to the next week. So it's like, at least my brain is saying, you have this next like you if it's okay, if you want to keep going. But you've got to find another spot and you're weak for this because it's a priority. Right? Right.

Kate Kordsmeier 1:01:35

Okay, smart. How about a powerful business mindset entrepreneurial book you've read either recently, or something that you just go back to again and again.

Kelsey Murphy 1:01:48

Um, I mean, the one that I love, and then I go back to is not an entrepreneurial book, but it helps me be an entrepreneur, it is the gifts of imperfection by Brene Brown. And honestly, like, for me, I just need to remind myself like being imperfect is a gift, put that out into the world, people love and resonate with that. And honestly, that in turn, helps build my business, you know?

Kate Kordsmeier 1:02:12

Yeah. 100% How about do you have a quote or a mantra and affirmation, you're telling yourself lately.

Kelsey Murphy 1:02:21

Lately, I've been telling myself, you're valuable just as you are. Because I want to write out the perfect notes for my podcast ahead of time, I want to spend seven hours on an email I write to people, and I have this kind of like, filter that I think I need these things to be perfect or better. And I think just reminding myself, if you just showed up without any notes, and you just talk to someone for 20 minutes, like there's so much value there and just being who you are, and that but I don't naturally go to that place. So I have to continuously say that mantra, like re imprint that in my brain, you know?

Kate Kordsmeier 1:03:00

Yeah, yeah, that's a good one. I'm telling myself something very similar dealing with postpartum body image stuff. So

there

is exactly who I am supposed to be right now. So, yes. Okay. Obviously, the podcast is called Success with Soul. Tell us what Success with Soul means to you?

Kelsey Murphy 1:03:24

Oh, that's a good one.

So I'd say Success with Soul means truly probably understanding what success looks like for you like deep deep down getting brutally brutally honest with yourself, you know, deep in that soul, like, what does success look like to you? And, and honoring that because I think there's a lot of reasons we assume success should look like, you know, what it does for somebody else, maybe it should look a little bit more like hustling or maybe it's like multiple seven figures. And at the end of the day, you're like, man, like high six figures, multiple six figures like that feels good for me part time work like that feels amazing, like taking my kids to the zoo every Friday like being there for their field trips, while also making 300k done, you know, like that. So whatever it is for you, I just feel like honoring what you know, your soul is telling you is the definition of success, right? And then allowing yourself to put that out into the universe and like cultivate and create that I think that could be the best thing we could do for ourselves, you know?

Kate Kordsmeier 1:04:29

So true. I love that. Thank you for coming on Kelsey.

Kelsey Murphy 1:04:34

Oh my goodness, thank you for having me. This is such a great conversation and and I love what you're doing. I love what you're cultivating and creating. I think that it's so important for moms and for humans and for women especially so thanks for letting me be a part of it.

Kate Kordsmeier 1:04:49

Oh my gosh, thank you.

Wait a minute. I know I know you're eager to get

back to your life, but before Turn off this episode, I want to share something super quick with you. I know you're probably sick of hearing other podcasters ask you to leave reviews. But here's the deal if you like a podcast, and you want them to be able to continue delivering you free episodes every week, we need your support. If you subscribe on the apple podcast, Google podcast, app, Spotify, or wherever you listen, it makes it possible for me to continue to provide free helpful content and bring you amazing guests. And if you take it one step further, by giving us a rating and review with your honest feedback, we can improve better serve you in the future. And you could even be featured on a future episode during our listener spotlights. Because if we don't get the reviews, we don't get the rankings. And it makes it a lot harder to continue justifying the cost and time expense of producing a podcast every week, and convincing amazing guests to come on the show. And of course your reviews are super helpful and motivating to me personally and I love hearing from you. So on that note we're going to end this episode with another listener spotlight. Here we go. This review comes from Katy tur liner. hope I'm saying that right Katie? She says I love Kate's podcast. They all provide great relatable, usable advice, especially as a new budding entrepreneur. I just finished listening to the newest podcast episode about why failure is a gift. The fear of failure kept me from starting my business for years. I finally did it at the beginning of the week and the fear of failure is still at the forefront. She provided great tips, insight and advice and now I feel empowered to fail in order to succeed in my entrepreneurial journey. Thank you so much for sharing, Katie. I can't wait to follow along in your failure to success journey.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai