054: How to Grow Your Business When Nothing is Working with Lisa Fabrega

Kate Kordsmeier 0:00

Welcome back to the Success with Soul podcast. I'm your host, Kate Kordsmeier. And today's episode is a little bit different, but extra, extra juicy. Alright, so you know how sometimes you feel like, oh, if I just had the right strategy, if I just learned a new technique, then I would have success, then I would achieve this goal that's been on my list. Well, actually, as it turns out, it's not about the strategy. It's about your capacity. And so today, we have Lisa fabrega. Here, she's a leadership coach who helps ambitious people expand their capacity to handle more growth, wealth and success. Now, if you're not quite sure what all this capacity stuff means you are in for such a treat, because it is so much more than just mindset. Although that's part of it. We're going to talk about how we're subconsciously draining our energy and power, and truly just holding ourselves back from so much of what we think we want in life. This episode has got to be one of my favorite conversations. And even as I was interviewing Lisa, I learned so much and had so many of my own epiphanies of like, Oh, that's why that happened, or that's why I did that. So if you're ready to have a few aha moments of your own, then you are going to love today's episode. Let's do it. You're listening to the Success with Soul podcast with Kate Kordsmeier x journalists turn CEO of a multi six figure blog in online business. But it wasn't that long ago that Kate was a struggling entrepreneur who lacked confidence, clarity, and let's be honest money. But all those failures, experiments and lessons learned helped Kay create a thriving business that impacts 1000s and brings freedom, flexibility and fulfillment to her life. If you're ready to do the same and make something happen with holistic, soulful, step by step strategies from Kate and other experts, you're in the right place. here's your host, writer, educator, Mom, recovering perfectionist, bookworm and sushi connoisseur, Kate Kordsmeier. Welcome, Lisa to Success with Soul. I'm so glad you're here.

Lisa Fabrega 2:15

It's my pleasure. Thanks for having me.

Kate Kordsmeier 2:18

We were just chatting before I hit record about all of this, like small world ways that we actually were connected. And it's just interesting to see like, even in this day and age where we're not even leaving our homes and everything. There's still like all of these cool connections that are happening in the background. So I love that.

Lisa Fabrega 2:35

Yeah, we're always connected much more than we think we are.

Kate Kordsmeier 2:39

Yes, I love that. So tell us least I know you're a leadership coach, you really focus on helping people expand their capacity to handle more growth, wealth and success. So this is so important. I can't wait to dive deep into what this means. But before we get there, tell us how did you become such an expert in this arena, and expand your own capacity for growth and success?

Lisa Fabrega 3:02

Yeah, the way I came to this is just through experience. I've been doing this for 11 years. And when I started my business, I started health coaching because I was really interested in nutrition and detoxification at the time. And I noticed that after a few sessions, all of my clients, which tended to be like very busy professional women or women with their own businesses, I had a couple of men too. And they just weren't talking to me about their nutrition anymore. After a couple of sessions, we were talking about deeper issues that they were struggling with which were just informing the food choices they were making. And so, you know, when you do something enough time you start to notice patterns. And I started to realize that okay, health coaching is not what I should be doing. I'm obviously like excelling coaching people on something deeper, but I didn't have the word capacity for it yet. So I always tell people, like don't fret about finding your exact purpose because it really if you just move forward, it reveals itself to you. And that's exactly how capacity came to me. So personally, it was the end of 2014 and my business had just exploded and I had literally waitlist for my waitlist. There were so many people that were trying to work with me and I was really I didn't realize it until I got to the end of the year, but I was really burned out. And because I was burned out, I wasn't thinking clearly. And I decided to make an investment in setting up a funnel for a $97 product. Now I had never had a $97 product in my business I had always had, you know, like higher ticket sort of offerings. It's just my vibe. It's just what works for me. And I put $100,000 into this funnel and it tanked so I end 2015 with $100,000 in debt in my business, that hurts. It was so scary at the time. Because I've never had that much debt in my business, I was about five years and at that point, and I've been pretty successful, I mean, I really hustled in the first year and managed to hit six figures in my first year of business. So anyway, I just was like, depressed at the end of 2015. Like, I failed, like, I don't know how this happened. Like, why didn't this work? And I remember having a conversation with my father, who's the only other business person in my family, everybody else is a doctor. And I was like, Oh, my God just feels like the end of the world. How? And he's like, Lisa, I've had like, 500,000 in debt. He's like, all businesses carry debt, like you'll, you'll pay it off, don't worry about it. And I was like, oh, it totally changed my perspective. And so as I started, you know, once he I felt better after talking to him, I started reflecting on my year and like,

what led to these choices? And why didn't this strategy work for me, even though it had worked so well for so many other people, and I started, and then at the same time, a client said to me, her words to me were, I have expanded my capacity, so much working with you. And I'm just like, stepping into a whole new way of being in the world. When she said that, to me, it just hit this lightbulb and I went, that's what I do. And that's what I've been doing all of these years, is helping people have more capacity for these, because everybody I work with is ambitious, and wants to achieve great things, more than the average person around them. And I'm not saying average is bad, then most of the people I work with are just, they just want to like go beyond you know. And so I started to realize that and when she said that, to me, a lot of times, you know, our clients reflect things back to us about ourselves. And I went, that's why this didn't work for me, because I actually was experiencing a capacity issue in 2014, where I had so much demand. And I didn't have it wasn't really that I didn't have the right business model is that I didn't have all the different now I've discovered like there's six different capacities most people tend to struggle with, I had issues with all six of those. And what happens is when we get to these places of burnout and overwhelm, because we don't have the capacity, we start thinking as a strategic problem. It's a business model problem, I need to use these crystals, I need to say, these mantras, and we're not actually dealing with a deeper issue, which which is, I built this whole thing. And I forgot, because it's what we all do. Nobody in the business world or the success world talks about the capacity to hold, handle and receive what you want, we talk a lot about the the perfect strategies, the step by step, maybe there's some like touching upon mindset stuff. But all that's surface level. And so that's when I started realizing, Oh, I didn't need to change my business model in 2015. And like, do this whole $97 project, which was really not aligned with my vibe or my energy, I needed to tap in and actually expand my capacity and fix the capacity issues I was having. Because then when I applied a strategy, it would have actually worked because it would have been the right strategy for me. So that's how I came to this work.

Kate Kordsmeier 8:16

Fascinating. So there's two things I want to touch on there. And the first is what you said in the beginning, which is don't fret, I'm kind of finding your expertise. So your niche, and I was just talking to a friend about this, this past week of how it holds so many people back from taking action, because they think they have to have it all figured out, like the perfect messaging, the perfect niche, the perfect, like all of this clarity. It's like you're never gonna get that until you just start doing it. And then that's when you start realizing, oh, this is what I enjoy. This is what I'm good at. And then like you said, clients start reflecting back to you. This is what you're teaching me. And it may not be the thing that you set out to do.

Lisa Fabrega 8:58

Exactly. 100%. Like, if you just stay aware, it's kind of like if I were to tell if you were to ask me like, Hey, where's that barn, I'm looking for down the road. And I'm like, if you take 15 steps, you'll see on the right hand side of cherry tree. And if you turn right at the cherry tree, then you'll see the farm. But if you're standing there and you won't take the 15 steps, and you're like I can't see the cherry tree from here. Well, you can't take 15 steps. And that's what we do. We're like, but I have to have it all figured out before I start and God no like I have had, my brand has shifted like 80 times probably in the years and you just become more and more of you and the more people you work with, you're more aware of what your skills are. And actually that's why one of the six capacities I talked about is purpose capacity, because we have to have the capacity to allow that journey to happen instead of like constantly stopping it because we think we have to like have the perfect clarity about it immediate right? literally never, ever happened for me. I have never been 100% clear about, you know, my purpose, or I've always there's always some unknown. So there's always some things where I'm like, I don't know what's gonna happen. Let's try it.

Kate Kordsmeier 10:10

Yeah, yeah, I'm so glad you said that. Because I do think especially anybody listening who's in the earlier stages of their business like it does, it holds us back so much. And we end up doing like busy work so that we feel like we're working, but we're really just hiding. And yeah, I just like everybody, you know, and the six figure blog Academy, one of my courses, we teach people how to grow and monetize their blog. And so many people take months just to launch, because they're tinkering with all of the things on the back end, and like, just effing do it. Let's go and figure it out. And you know, you go back and you look at any successful blogger and their first post, it's terrible every time nobody hits it out of the park on the first one, you just keep going. And you learn from there. And I mean, it applies, obviously, to all all industries. But I'm glad I'm glad we were able to talk about that, because I feel like it's Yeah, it's so important. Now, tell us a little bit more about what does capacity really mean?

Lisa Fabrega 11:12

Yeah. So what the way I just find capacity in my work is that it's your ability to hold, handle and receive every next level of your growth. And the reason I define it that way is, you know, there's a metaphor that I love using for this is think about all the people that have like hit a huge jackpot and the in the lottery like they want $250 million. And then a lot of people you hear like five years later, they're broke. You're like, Huh, did you see like 50 million? Like I couldn't have everybody, you know, one of my mentors, Lena West, she says, everybody's a genius until the test comes. So Oh, true. Yeah. And so, you know, the reason they look like the reason that that happens is because they had a financial set point. So let's say they were used to making 50,000. And that's the capacity they had, they had the capacity to make 50,000. But if they suddenly get 250 million, they've got to expand their capacity to understand who they are, how they spend, how they show up, how they manage their money, what their life is, like a $250 million. And they didn't do that. And so what happens is they spend down to get back to their capacity setpoint it works the same way in every area of our lives, or our work in our businesses. For example, if you're used to having subpar team members, for example. And that's all you think you deserve. Because you've got embodiment, capacity issues and structural capacity issues, then you're just going to keep hiring people who are subpar who are like not doing a great job. But that's all you think you deserve. You haven't expanded your capacity to call in and a player onto your team. And know a lot of times I have women who are very successful, they're like, Why do I keep getting these really bad team members that like don't do their jobs and have to be micromanaged. And I'm like, well, let's look at you, what part of you doesn't think you deserve to have this level of support, what part of you is just so used to having to micromanage that it's like become ingrained into your nervous system. And so then when you show up to interview people, you first of all, the type of job description you post has that energy in it, so it attracts the wrong candidates to begin with. And then when you show up to the interview, if you happen to have an A player on the interview, your level of capacity causes you to completely overlook that person and pick the person that is the mediocre that you're used to having on your team. And so yeah, I mean, it's a huge issue relate to that, that had some very much to it, too. I mean, everything I teach, I've learned, right, so. So yeah, I mean, that's why capacity is so important. Because, you know, if you want to make, you're talking about six figure blog, right, like if you want a six figure blog, well, who is the version of you that has a six figure blog? Because it's not the version of you? That doesn't? Right? Yeah, upgrades that have to happen on in several areas of your capacity in order for you to literally be able to handle it, receive it and manage it well, because a lot of people a fear I hear constantly is, well, I want to make a million dollars or I want to do this but what if I can't handle it? There's an if you've got what if I can't handle it? Like what if I don't have the capacity for is essentially what that means? That under there? You are going to constantly subtly sabotage every one of your strategies that you're implementing because you don't want it to work out fully. Because part of you thinks you can't handle it if it does. Oh, God. Yeah, why you have the people who spend six months and you're like, just launch the thing. Because it's not that they don't have this amazing system and strategy that you've taught them. It's incredible. It's deeper than that. It's what if I launched the blog and I get everything I want, then what? Who? I don't? Who that version of me is, what if I can't handle it? What if you know there's all these fears that come up? So right after it is important?

Kate Kordsmeier 15:22

Oh my gosh. I mean, I feel like I've got chills. I've got like, so many follow up questions. It's reminding me I just finished reading the book that Amanda Francis wrote called rich as fuck, I don't know if you've read it. But yeah, horrible title. But it's actually very good book that you would not guess.

Lisa Fabrega 15:42

Yeah.

Kate Kordsmeier 15:44

Well, she, she definitely is that. But she talks about these set points as well. And it was the first time that I thought about it. And it was funny, because right after, so I had lunch with a friend. And she was telling me like, yeah, you know how like, you'll get like a $2,000 bonus or something like that. And then like, the next day, your car breaks down. And like, then it just in and out. And then I was like, yeah, that is weird how that happens. And then like, the next day, I read Amanda's book, she talks about these set points. And I was like, Oh, that's why it was like, you didn't know how, like you weren't ready to receive that money and know how to just hold on to it and manage it.

Lisa Fabrega 16:19

Yes, I do. A, I used to do like a virtual day long retreat for money capacity. And I would do an exercise where I would send him halfway through the retreat, as we were, it was like a four hour retreat, I would send them a bank balance had been customized for each one of them, because I kind of knew like the money set points of everybody on the call. And I would send like somebody's like, here's your bank balance $750,000. And I'd be like, what, and just to see the variety of responses that people would put in the chat during that retreat, they'd be like, I am like sweating.

Like I almost I just associated, I can't believe it, you know, like, this is not my bank account and finding excuses for why this isn't my bank account. It was fascinating to watch the reactions.

Kate Kordsmeier 17:02

And I think that is so fascinating. And I can see this showing up in my own life in in a slightly different way. But I think it's it goes back to the same capacity set points of there was a time when I first started my business. And I thought like, if I could just make $5,000 a month. Oh my god, that would be like the best thing ever. And then you get there. And then I go, Well, what if it could be $10,000 a month? And then I like get to 10,000? Then you I can maintain that 10,000? Before I like mentally then say, How about 25 and like, and each time I'm able to meet the goal. And yeah, part of it is maybe that I had a new strategy, or I learned a new, you know, practice or something. But I think so much of it is just mentally being like, Okay, I'm ready for that next level.

Lisa Fabrega 17:58

Yeah. You know, I the same way, like I'm very, I lean expansively towards money in that way. But I will tell you, eventually, we always hit plateaus, always, always, always. And then that is when the deepest money capacity stuff comes out. Like I had a client who just kept doubling and doubling and then all of a sudden she got to a certain amount. And that was like two years where she's like, What is going on? Like we can't she was so used to expanding every month, you know, like doubling it. She's like, I can't figure out we've been like this for two years, what's going on? We ended up uncovering this memory that she had from when she was maybe like 12. And in her home, her mother had started to out earn her dad and the dad when the mother reached a certain I think I forget what the amount was, but it was close to the amount she couldn't get past. The dad left the family because he was so threatened by the mom earning more than him. Wow, she had this like super subconscious thing that like if I earn more than this bad things happen, right? When we were able to expand her capacity in that area a little bit. She started moving past that plateau again. So I would say like to everybody. I don't I mean, I've worked I have clients who are eight figure business owners I've worked with all sorts of I've worked I've worked with Oscar nominees, Nobel Peace Prize nominees, I've worked with, you know, moms, artists, all sorts of people from all sorts of careers, and all sorts of incomes. And no matter what, there's always a point where you hit some sort of plateau. And I don't mean that to scare anybody I say it so that you prepare yourself because it's a good thing because that plateau that you hit. If you are willing to work on your capacity when you hit it and look more deeply at why you're hitting that plateau. You'll be prepared for it number one and number two Once you work through that, and you expand your capacity at that setpoint that you have, all of a sudden your your ability to earn more just take goes by leaps and bounds because that setpoint that plateau was what was holding you back from that next level,

Kate Kordsmeier 20:16

right.

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Lisa Fabrega 22:22

Yeah, so the first one is money capacity, which we've talked about a lot. And that's your ability to earn, save and invest larger and larger amounts of money every year. Visibility capacity, which is also one of the most popular ones. And the example you were telling me about Oh, like just do it already, like then immediate and like visibility capacity. So your visibility capacity is your ability to allow all of you to be fully seen. So a lot of people hide, they're afraid of more visibility, even though they say they want more of it. I'll tell brief, quick story about how that looks. I had a client who had a very successful $500,000 revenue, business and plateau. And it came out through our work together that she actually had this whole intuitive side that she would use in her private coaching. But she never talked about it in her like, you know, more mainstream, like larger group programs. And she had this event that she would really work hard to fill to like 80 something people every year, she was afraid of showing that part of her because she didn't want to be judged. We worked on that. And she decided, like I want to incorporate this into my brand, because it's a huge part of me that year when she kind of came out as an intuitive and that she would be weaving it into her business coaching. She went like her event I think sold like over, it was like over 240 people signed up for it. So it like more than doubled the attendance of that event. So that's the power of We hold these things back. And we're afraid that we'll get judged. And sometimes they're the most lucrative aspect that we ask people.

Kate Kordsmeier 24:00

That just reminded me of last year, when I was working with a coach. And after she got to know me, you know, this was almost a year into our relationship. She's like, I don't want you to take this the wrong way. But your emails that like I send to my list, your emails are nicer than you are. And I was like, Huh, well, it's interesting, because my copywriter writes my emails, I don't write them. And she's like, yeah, I can tell because now that I know you, they don't feel like you. And she's like, I'm not saying you're like a bitch. It's more just that. She's like, you've got this boldness, like this edginess to you. And I don't see that in your emails. They're very like sweet, and not that you're not a nice person. And so I sat with that for a while and I realized that when, for my whole life, I've been, quote unquote, opinionated and people have always told me Wow, you have a lot of opinions. Or you're a strong personality. And what I've internalized that to mean is like you're too much, right? Like, you need to tone it down. You're difficult. So I wasn't showing up as my full self, because I didn't want people to think I was difficult. Yeah. And as soon as I realized that, and then was like, well screw it, I'm not difficult. I just have thoughts and opinions. And you know, that's allowed, and I'm just going to share them. And if you don't like them, then you can leave. And if you do, then you can stay in great. And I feel like my business has had an exponential growth since then. And since I started saying, Okay, I'm gonna write my own emails now. And I went back, and I redid all of the emails, like, and our welcome series and some of our evergreen funnels. And now I'm showing up so much more as like, no, this is me, and I curse and I am not always like, sweet and innocent and nurturing. And like, I'm the tough love kind of coach. And I feel like yeah, it's now magnetizing the right people.

Lisa Fabrega 26:02

That's what I was gonna ask you is like, have you noticed that it has changed? Who comes your way? And then the people who come you're where I'm more aligned?

Kate Kordsmeier 26:10

Yes, yeah. 100%. Yeah. 100%. Now, don't get me wrong. I've gotten some people who love to let me know that they're unsubscribing. And no.

Lisa Fabrega 26:20

Okay, bye.

Kate Kordsmeier 26:20

Okay, bye! There's a button for that. But yeah, and there's been moments where it's been a little hard because you're like, oh, shoot, maybe I shouldn't have said that. Maybe I should have held back a little bit. And then I just realized, like, No, that's not what I want to do. If I can't be me and my own business, like, what's the point?

Lisa Fabrega 26:39

Absolutely. Like, a lot of times, when people come to me, they're like, I just keep getting these terrible clients that are just so rude. And like, or they're just like, blah, like, I don't want to be, you know, whatever. Like, it's not a fit. And like, it's not your, you know, funnel or your marketing. I mean, it is the marketing page. Because if you're not showing up as yourself, it's not going to be in your marketing. But it's deeper than that. It's that it's that you are just not being yourself. It's better to like detox those people from the beginning, right? The people who don't get it, but the worst is when like, you come across a super sweet and an email. And we're not getting your boldness and your edginess. And then you get on the phone with a client, you cuss and they're all offended. And now you can't yourself for the whole duration of that relationship. Which sucks. Right? Exactly. coach them, or help them at your best if you're like, you know, twisting yourself into a pretzel. So, so yeah, so that's it and visibility, and purpose we've talked about a little bit, I say that your insight is matching your outside. That's purpose capacity. And I've had a lot of people come to me telling me that some business coach told them, they should start a business about this, because it's more of a niche. And it's more lucrative, but there's like literally no alignment with their purpose. And in some cases, they've built these massively successful businesses, and they're like, Why am I always so tired and burned out? Why do I always feel so resentful? I'm like, because it's not your purpose. And so then eventually, that business starts to plateau, because you cannot sustain a business that's not in alignment with your purpose. Yes. Then we have embodiment, which I call your emotional, physical and mental capacity. So that's like, are you I used to have a friend who had embodiment capacity issues. And she would leave me these messages when her launches were happening that literally sounded like she was having nervous breakdowns every single time she launched, and teams would quit on her. And because of how stressed out she was, and that's an embodiment, it's like you can't control your emotions, you can't, anything that comes in from the outside tech meltdown, in the middle of a webinar, or whatever is just like throwing you off so much, or a hate comment or whatever, throws you off so much that it just puts you into this chaos internally. And then structural capacity, which is I love talking about structural capacity. It's your foundations and structures that are holding you up to your next level. That's things like, do you have the right team? You want to go to eight figures? Do you have the team for eight figures? Because you probably don't, you know, like, do you need more help at home and you're just not getting it? Because that's another team your home team? Do you need to tell your kids to do their own damn laundry for why do you need to ask the cleaning lady to please stop putting things in different random areas and put them in the place they belong? So you know, spend an hour of your time looking for where the stuff is, you know, all those little things, they really add up to major energy leakage, if you aren't, don't have the right structures in place. And now I live right close to Oprah and I look at how she has her life structured and she has so much support and the right support and she's able to do what she does because she has those structures in place in those people supporting her. And then the final one is boundary capacity, which is a topic everybody loves to talk about. And but I when I say What's different about this is that it's not just boundaries with other people. You know, it's not just saying no, we're drawing the line with other people, it's boundaries with ourselves, like, where do we violate our own boundaries, or Gaslight, our own boundaries, and are the boundaries that you have now, the boundaries of the next level self, like the boundaries I'm going to have at 5 million are very different than the boundaries I have at a million. And you have to start building the boundaries for 5 million. Now when you're at a million, for example, so that you actually have space to grow into the 5 million. So those are the six capacities.

Kate Kordsmeier 30:39

Oh, so interesting. The structural capacity reminds me to have I remember listening to this interview with Rachael Rogers, and her like best business advice was to hire support at home, like get a house manager get a personal assistant. And this was maybe easier during you know, pre COVID. But let's just pretend we're out of the pandemic, and anybody can come into your house, it was like it was so eye opening to me to think, oh, so for my business to succeed, I need to stop taking so much mental bandwidth, thinking about grocery shopping and meal prep and returning things at the like Nordstrom or at you know, going to the post office and organizing my pantry and doing the laundry and cleaning the house. And like all these things that, like we're not meant to do both at full capacity. And it was, it seems so counterintuitive, like your best business advice is to hire a home a house manager. But once I really understood the concept, it made so much sense. And I did it after listening to that episode. And it changed everything. And it was like, Oh, my gosh, I now have so much more space in my mind to actually think about how could I grow my business? How can I show up best in my business and things that I just didn't have the capacity for before?

Lisa Fabrega 32:02

Absolutely. I have a cook. I have two personal assistants, I have a cleaning lady who comes twice a week. I have a gardener? Like, that's just for me. I don't even have kids yet. Like that's just for me.

Kate Kordsmeier 32:15

So I think a lot of people are going to hear that and go like, Oh my gosh, like that. They're gonna have some thought about it. Right. But if I'm saying that, because I want them to apply it to themselves. Why couldn't you have that?

Lisa Fabrega 32:28

Absolutely, exactly. I mean, I didn't start that way, I started with the cleaning lady. And then I was like, I'm getting to the point where I really need someone to return packages and do things for me that I don't have, I'd rather be working on a sales page than doing that. That's not my zone of genius, right. And then I have a cook because I like to eat very healthy. And I noticed that if I'm very busy, and I have a ton of calls one day, I'm much less likely to eat healthy, if I don't have stuff already prepared, because I don't have time to sit there and cook a whole healthy lunch when I'd rather be sitting in my garden for an hour with an already prepared meal. So yeah, I don't really I find that whenever I get triggered by the amount of help people have, it's because it's because I'm not allowing myself that help.

Kate Kordsmeier 33:13

Right. Right.

Lisa Fabrega 33:14

I always think triggers are can be wonderful mirrors to see the ways that we're holding ourselves back. So I have literally no apologies. And I and I speak about all the help I have. Because I want people to realize like, it's not like, you know, what you see on Instagram and Facebook and whatever. It's not just me being somehow good at all these amazing things like, all by myself, Oh, no, I've got a team of people and my business, like, don't buy into that illusion.

Kate Kordsmeier 33:46

Right? Exactly. I think there's so many people, you know, they'll say a self made millionaire or? And like, yes, you may have you know, right. You may have created this business, it was your vision. But yet nobody is. I mean, I think there are very few people, if any, that are running seven figure businesses as a one woman show.

Lisa Fabrega 34:09

I would be shocked to to even find one person. Yeah, you might find them and they might be burned out and have horrible adrenal fatigue and like, not be ale to manage anything.

Kate Kordsmeier 34:20

Right, exactly. Okay, so I'm trying to figure out where to go from here. Because I would love to see if, like, we could pick maybe just a couple of the top capacities and talk about Okay, so I see what you're saying, How do I expand my capacity for these things?

Lisa Fabrega 34:37

Well, that's a huge question. And that's why I work with people over long periods of time, because it's really not something that we can resolve in like a two minute soundbite, right. But I can give you ideas for how to start. And one ways to start is to go back and listen to what I just like I just described all the capacities and score yourself. Like go from one to 10, one being lowest 10 being highest. Because the first thing you need to understand is there's something called a capacity code. And everybody has their own unique capacity code. And when you're able to score yourself on your capacities, then you at least know what you're working with, then you at least know like, my top thing that I need to work on is this. And it's often not the thing you think, is the problem. So I would go back and you know, I would rewind and listen to kind of do like a self quiz and go from one to 10. How am I doing on my money capacity? from one to 10? How am I doing I'm visibility, and so on and so forth. Because then you'll have some scores in front of you. And you'll realize like, oh, like the highest score, which means it's the worst, or the, the lowest score score is the worst one for me. And so let's say money capacity is your lowest score. Well, now, you know, actually, the source of the problem is not what I thought was my visibility. It's money, like money capacity is the source of my problem. And then you can ask yourself, well, what's one thing that I can start doing to work on expanding my money capacity, and it could be something like, you know, putting up my damn website for once, once and for all. So I can start collecting sales or reaching out to that person that I've been wanting to renew that I keep avoiding doing so. Or, you know, like, finally, just launching the damn product that I've had just sitting there for three months, and tinkering and tinkering and tinkering with it. The first step is just getting clear, like my unique capacity code says that my money capacity is the most out of whack. And I've got to work on that first. And one thing I talk about a lot is that the capacities are interwoven. So what you'll find is, as you start working on the ones you have the most deficits, then you'll start to notice that the other ones kind of start to expand alongside it. Because, you know, like, if I start taking care of my visibility capacity, and I'm no longer afraid of being fully seen, now make more money. So now my money capacity is expanding. And then that makes me be able to hire a more sophisticated team for my business. And so they're all really interwoven. I'm less afraid of setting boundaries, because I'm not afraid of being seen as a person who respects herself and has good boundaries. So they're all really interwoven. But getting clear on where you have deficits is the most important thing.

Kate Kordsmeier 37:26

Now, I imagine though, so much of the deficits are, like unconscious, that you almost like need somebody to score this with you, either somebody that knows you, or somebody that knows what questions to ask. Because I imagine that like, you could look I'm sure, like, I'm thinking of this one student in my course, who's been launching for like two years, and still hasn't done it. And I bet you if I said, Oh, I think you know, your visibility capacity scores, probably pretty low. She would be like, No, no, I don't think so. This is what I want.

Lisa Fabrega 37:59

Yeah. Um, I think that the caveat is, you have to be really honest with yourself as you score yourself. Number one, number two, that's why I have like in my I have a program called capacity shift. And in that program, when you join, you get something called a capacity quiz. And yes, that's why I have that quiz in there, because it shows you without a doubt, where you're lying to yourself, because of how you answer the questions. So yeah, you absolutely do need more support to figure out where you're lying to yourself and where you're not. But even if your responses are a lie to yourself, it doesn't matter really. Because if you start working on the one you think is the problem, the other one's going to come up to, so it doesn't really matter.

Kate Kordsmeier 38:44

True. I remember the exact moment I hit publish on my very first blog post. So many feelings like hope and excitement and oh, yeah, that sneaky old imposter syndrome to like, Who am I who's going to care about what I have to say? I also had so many questions about the day to day process of managing a blog. And perhaps my biggest question was exactly how do I master this tech of starting a blog from scratch? So that journey from beginner to six figure blogger created my new passion for helping entrepreneurs just like you start your blog from scratch the right way. Would you like to learn how to get started? Perfect, because I've just created a brand new free video training series to show you how to get your blog idea out of your head and into the world. You'll learn the number one paradigm shift happening in the marketplace today plus insider secrets that will set you on the path towards moving the needle on your business in ways you never imagine. In this free training. I shared the number one mistake most people make when trying to grow their audience and revenue and what you should do instead Just in case you're sitting there thinking but Kay, I don't need a blog. Guess what you actually do? Even if you have no desire of becoming an influencer? I'll explain exactly why in this video series ready to learn more get free access by registering at successwithsoul.co/start. That's successwithsoul.co/start to get your blog started today.

Going back then to this, like maybe there's some unconscious things that we are believing about ourselves or about our abilities. So what are some surprising signs that one might have, say, a scarcity mentality around money? even maybe if you're a high earner? Or you think like, No, I want to be a seven figure business owner more than anything?

Lisa Fabrega 40:51

Yeah, there are so many I love talking about this, because there are people who make lots of money who still have scarcity mindset. So number one, you have a lot of people defaulting or not making payments, or maybe not a ton, but more than you'd like that is sort of a red flag that maybe there's something you need to look at within yourself that you're allowing that kind of energy into your space. Another one, that's one of my favorites, and it's super sneaky, is that you feel like you need to get every last drop out of your investment and what I mean, and that's not, it sounds bad when I say that. But I'll give you a perfect example. I have had some clients that are working with me one on one. And the way I structured my one on one is I just say it's up to two hours a month, because a lot of the women who are working with me at that level are very busy. And so they're actually really happy when we can solve the problem and less time. Just staying on the phone for an hour just because our session is supposed to be an hour if I can solve their problem a woman with abundance mentality if I solve her problem in 20 to 25 minutes, and we still have 40 minutes of the call left. She's like, Oh my God, thank you solve. I'm good. Like, okay, let's go. Right? clients who have scarcity mentality, I, you'll feel it and be honest with yourself, if you do this, there's nothing wrong with it. I used to do this. You're like, oh, but we still have 40 minutes left, let me just start trying to figure out every possible thing I could throw in there to get my full hour because I paid for this hour, that scarcity mentality. So if you tend to do that, where you're just like, what, what about this? And what about that, you're still stuck in this mentality of like, trading time for money. And that's not abundance mentality. Because, for example, like, you're not just for me, when I work with my clients, I'm not just like, Hey, I talked to you for an hour, you're out of my mind until we talk next. No, I'm like, thinking about them. So I read something, it makes me think about something we need to talk about in our next session. So there's a considerable amount of energy going into my private clients, and even in my clients in my group program. So you're not paying me for sessions, you're paying me to solve your problem to help you solve your problem. And you're paying me to hold you in my energy field in my mind, in my intention throughout the whole time we're working together. So frankly, people who have abundance mindset, they appreciate their time and their energy being preserved. That's something that is very sneaky that a lot of people do. And they don't realize,

Kate Kordsmeier 43:23

yeah, that just reminds me of something that came up for me recently that I was like, gosh, this is such a scarcity mindset. But I didn't realize it. And when you said, hanging on to like every last drop of the investment or wanting to make sure you got your money's worth. I hired two people in December, and I ended up having to let them go at the end of the month for, we'll just leave it at that. And it was the $7,000 that I spent on these two people. And I got nothing for it. And I could not get over it. Like I just kept being like this was such a waste. Maybe I should go back and even like request a refund or something because they didn't do what I hired them to do. And finally, my integrator, my ops person, she's like, Kate, this is just the cost of doing business. Like sometimes we just make investments and they don't work out and you just got to move on. And I realized, like, gosh, I'm clinging so tightly to this money, because I'm so afraid that like, there's not going to be more and oh, I just wasted $7,000. And what if I don't get that back?

Lisa Fabrega 44:29

Yes. Oh, that's such a great example. Such a great example. And then this making me think of another thing.

And I have a I told you about this program called capacity shift. And it's like an ongoing group program, because I've been working with enough people on their capacity for long enough that I know that it's really an individual process. And, for example, I have some people who join that program and they're on one capacity for six months. It's designed that way so that it's not like the program begins here. And by December you now have capacity for life, you're good, like no capacity is like till you die like you are working on your capacity till you die. And so I it's a, it's really a rolling kind of a thing because I want people, if you're really checking in with yourself and you're really aligned with your process, and you're allowing yourself the space to really expand your capacity on every level, so that you can really go to the next level of your goals. You're not going to be thinking like, Okay, my payments end in December, like you're not going to be thinking that you're literally thinking every month, okay, let me do an assessment, how am I doing? Nope, I've still got some work I've got to do on my visibility capacity. Let's do this. And I always noticed it like some people, we tell people like, Listen, please don't join, if you can't commit to at least a year, because I don't want people coming in. And now it's very disruptive. And I'm very serious about the containers of the programs that I create. And I can always tell the people who are really in it to work on their capacity. And the ones who are like, have just been waiting for the year to be up. And instead of actually going in and assessing like, I'm not ready, you know, like, I still need some work I have to do. They're like, Okay, thanks, I, my my 12 months are up. So I'm, thank you so much for everything by and I'm like, you are just thinking about the money and the payments. And you it proves to me that you actually didn't work on your capacity the entire time that we were working together. So that's another kind of a sneaky, where you're just like focused on the wrong thing instead of focusing on your process.

Kate Kordsmeier 46:35

Right, right.

Lisa Fabrega 46:36

Gosh, I could talk about this topic forever. There's so many. There are there are I'm trying to think of.

Kate Kordsmeier 46:43

I mean, I think I've heard what you mentioned this before, and I've heard it before. And like I said, I've struggled with building a team. I mean, it's definitely been one of the biggest challenges, probably the biggest challenge of my business. And I've heard things before, which are hard for me to hear. Because I'm like, Oh shit, they're probably right, where people say like, if you have a problem with team, you have a problem with yourself. And like, if look around the common denominator is you. And that's so hard to hear. But I'm like, Okay, let's let me just say, Yeah, that's true. Now it's like, so what do I do about it?

Lisa Fabrega 47:21

Well, you first of all, again, you have to get clear, what is the thing that's causing the team problem. So like, for me, the years I was having team issues, it was always me. And it wasn't that I was an asshole or a bad boss, it was that I didn't believe like I was raised by a narcissistic parent. And so I was used to my nervous system became calibrated to a certain level of treatment, and a certain level of gas lighting. And that's what relationships were like for me growing up as a kid. And so I never, that's what my nervous system knows, even though it's not good for my nervous system, it feels comforting to my nervous system, because it's what it knows, to do do a lot of work. Gosh, like five years of I still go to therapy every week. And I will never not have a therapist on the payroll because your business brings up all your stuff, just like relationships, bring up all your stuff. And I realized that I was attracting team members that were like that parent that were either gaslighting me or telling me that I had one person who came in and was like, everything's a mess, I'm going to need to clean all this up for you. And I was like, Oh my god, like, I didn't realize things were that messy. Gas, let me for months and months and months, and then like was never happy and was always complaining about how I'm this and I'm that and I was like oh my god, like, I must be the worst person ever. But I'm very lucky that I have mentors who I trust so much, because I've been working with them for a long time. And they're the kind of people who will tell me like you are wrong, you need to sit your butt down and shut up. And I love hiring mentors like that. And my mentor said to me, you're not wrong, this person is really shitty at their job. And what they're doing is they're gaslighting you and trying to act like you're the problem to cover up for the fact that they are not good at their job. And when she said that, to me, I was like, Oh my god, that is my frickin parrot for when I was a kid, and here it is. So I really had to work intensively on how my like recalibrating my nervous system essentially notice and reject that kind of dynamic. And when I did that, I had team members come in that were so good at what they did, and so supportive and like I remember one of them said to me, I am so mad that you have been so under supported for so long. And I was like What are you saying? Like, wait and I almost I remember Feeling my capacity edge when that happened? I was almost like, I feel uncomfortable right now that this person is so on my side like, I'm not used to this. And I had to work on my capacity to be able to receive that level of support, where he was like, No, you're right. And that note that person's wrong. No, I fully support you. I was like, I don't know this. What is this? I'm not used to this. I feel very uncomfortable right now. Like, can I trust this? And right, but that, you know, that's why it is you it's absolutely always you and I would attract for a long time clients that were the my narcissistic parent. And it would always end up being a bad experience or something would blow up. So it is always you. I mean, let's let me just be clear about that. I am not a fan of using that as a form of spiritual bypassing and gaslighting people out of their experience. That's not how I mean it. But I do always question I like to ask myself the question, could this be me? Mm hmm. And in my experience, a lot of times it is. Yeah, doesn't mean it's your fault. You know, it's not your fault. If you had bad, it wasn't my fault. But I had a narcissistic parent, but it is my responsibility as an adult to undo those patterns and not pass them on to other people. Right? Yeah, well, and what's coming up for me too, is that I think women in particular, have a very difficult time receiving support, because we are supposed to be like, super women. And we're supposed to do it all. And that's like the dream of how do you do it all, and you make it look easy. And so it feels so uncomfortable? When people are like, let me do this for you. And let me help you. Let me support you. I think there's a lot of like just unlearning from cultural norms, and like societal expectations that we have to do to just be willing to receive support without guilt without thinking that we're doing it because we couldn't do it by ourselves. And that means something bad about us, or someone's gonna hold something against us later

on. Because they gave us help, right? that's a that's a thing. Like if we've had experiences in the past, where family members or whatever we're like, well, I did this for you. Now you have to do and it was like, wait, I didn't agree to that, then we can also have those fears of receiving help, because we're like, what, what are the strings attached to this help right now? Right. Right, exactly. Well, and I think just to wrap things up, it is so important to note what you said earlier, which is that this is not a one and done kind of thing. This is stuff that is a lifetime. And you may even, like, expand your capacity. And then a few years later, something else happens and like the same shit comes up for us all over and over and over again. So I'm sure there are still even times in your life now, where you deal with the narcissistic thing coming up again, and you're like, well, I thought we were past this, but here I am doing it again. Yes, it What I will say is I've been working on it for over 10 years now. So it happens less and less every year. And you notice that quicker. So you can interrupt the pattern more quickly. Right? Right. Um, and I've gotten to the point where I really just get very, I maybe get like one person that's like that. And I usually notice that pretty quickly. Yeah, last year, I did, I did attract somebody like that every year. It's less than last. But last year, I did attract one person like that. And thankfully, I noticed it in time and kick them out of my sphere. And of course, when you do that they have this massive reaction. And you know, because they don't like to be set boundaries on. But But yeah, I know. It doesn't matter what level you're at, like I said, I have been advising on boards of 100 million dollar companies I have, I have several clients who are an eight figures right now, I have clients who are at 50,000. Like, it doesn't matter. Your every time you hit another level, you know, if you're used to making 200,000 a year, and then you go to a million in the span of a year or two, the challenges of a million dollar business are very different than the challenges of a $200,000 business. And you haven't built the capacity. I mean, you have the if you've been working on your capacity you have most people aren't most people are just focusing on their strategies. So now you have to learn how to deal with what are the types of team issues that happen when you're at a million dollars? What are the type of marketing issues that happen when you're at a million dollars, customer service issues? Yeah, definitely delivery of your service like all of that. And so, you know, capacity is an endless thing. And I think as much as we prioritize investing and like the expertise of strategists, we have to prioritize on an equal level. the expertise of people who can help us work on our capacity because if you have strategy but you don't have capacity, your strategy doesn't work or you don't implement it. period, you have capacity to implement the strategy capacity to deal with whatever. All strategies have hiccups, because not no strategy is one size fits all. And your business is different than mine, we might apply the same strategy and we get different results because we have different audiences. So we have to customize all those things, required capacity, all of those things. So it's like I tell my clients like, trying to do trying to do success without capacity is like trying to drive a Ferrari down the highway with zero gas, or with like unleaded crappy gas that doesn't actually support the functioning of the motor of the car, you're not going to get very far you won't get anywhere at all.

Kate Kordsmeier 55:41

Right? great analogy. I love that. Okay, so we're coming up on the end here, Lisa, tell everybody before we have a quick lightning round of questions that we do. But before we get there, tell everybody where they can find you.

Lisa Fabrega 55:52

I'm Lisa fabrega, across all platforms, so you can find me at my website lisafabrega.com I have a really awesome little free thing where you can download video and it will ask you three really good journaling questions to get a sense of what's going on with your capacity. And then I'm I'm very active on Instagram. I'm @ lisafabrega there, and Facebook and LinkedIn. I'm at Lisa fabrega.

Kate Kordsmeier 56:15

Okay, awesome. Thank you so much. Okay, so quick lightning round, just first thing that comes to your mind, what is your favorite way to make time for self care?

Lisa Fabrega 56:25

Going for a really long, like two hour walks?

Kate Kordsmeier 56:28

Hmm. So good. One tool or strategy that you use to help with time management

Lisa Fabrega 56:34

Pomodoro Technique.

Kate Kordsmeier 56:36

That's a good one. I feel like I always like to have the Chrome extension on my computer. And for like a week, I'll remember to do it. And then I forget. good reminder. I had a perfect at it. But it does work.

Lisa Fabrega 56:48

Yes, it is super helpful. What I've been doing too, when I've been good at it is when I get the dang that goes like Okay, take a break stand up. I do 25 jumping jacks just to like, get my blood pumping and move a little bit because I'm just sitting right all day in front of this desk. And so it's like, it doesn't require me to do a full blown workout or like go for a long walk. If I don't have the time. It's just like, just move your body real quick.

Kate Kordsmeier 57:12

Yeah, I love that. Okay, what is one of the most powerful or maybe the most recent business mindset or entrepreneurial book you've read?

Lisa Fabrega 57:22

Oh, gosh, I really don't read entrepreneurial books.

Kate Kordsmeier 57:25

There was that any good mindset books?

Lisa Fabrega 57:28

I don't really read mindset books either. I did read a business book, cash, I can't remember the name of it. Hold on. I can tell you I can look it up right now. It was about managing teams and it was very good. And I found out they like it was even mentioned on Silicon Valley, which I used to love that show before I love that show. Something like radical leadership or something like that. And it's just about being really blunt and

Kate Kordsmeier 57:51

radical candor.

Lisa Fabrega 57:53

That's it radical candor. Yeah, okay.

Kate Kordsmeier 57:55

Yes. I read it too, I really liked it as well. Yeah. person so I was like, feeling very vindicated reading the book. Yeah, challenge directly care personally, right. That's like the definition of I loved that. Okay. Do you have a quote or mantra or an affirmation or anything you're telling yourself now?

Lisa Fabrega 58:14

Yes, there's a beautiful mantra that I learned from her name is Dr. Cleopatra, and I'm gonna butcher it, but it goes something like, I am the light of my soul. I am beautiful. I am bountiful. I am bliss. And I just want when I go on my long walks, I just say that to myself out loud over and over and over again. If it makes you feel really good. It's actually a mantra to shift energy in your body.

Kate Kordsmeier 58:39

is Dr. Cleopatra, the fertility expert?

Lisa Fabrega 58:42

Yes.

Kate Kordsmeier 58:43

Yeah. I love her.

Lisa Fabrega 58:44

She's a good friend of mine. Yeah, like a little mastermind. chat with her.

Kate Kordsmeier 58:48

So okay, I was to last year and she actually is the fertility expert on my wellness blog root and revel. Yeah, when you said, I know Dr. Cleopatra. I mean, is a pretty unique name in the first place. But her last name? I have no idea.

Lisa Fabrega 59:06

Yeah.

Kate Kordsmeier 59:07

Okay. What does Success with Soul mean to you?

Lisa Fabrega 59:11

I think it means building what you want to build with alignment to it. And I actually teach a process called soul whispering in the capacity work. And so it's actually taking a moment and using your soul as the guide and the GPS of your life and the things that you do in your work too. Because I think that when you use your soul as the GPS, you never go wrong. It's really our egos that doubt the instructions of the GPS that screw all up.

Kate Kordsmeier 59:38

I love that so much. Thanks, Lisa. This was so fun.

Lisa Fabrega 59:42

You're welcome. Thank you.

Kate Kordsmeier 59:48

Wait a minute. I know I know you're eager to get back to your life. But before you turn off this episode, I want to share something super quick with you. I know you're probably sick of hearing other podcasters ask you to leave reviews But here's the deal. If you like a podcast, and you want them to be able to continue delivering you free episodes every week, we need your support. If you subscribe on the apple podcast, Google podcast, app, Spotify, or wherever you listen, it makes it possible for me to continue to provide free helpful content and bring you amazing guests. And if you take it one step further, by giving us a rating and review with your honest feedback, we can improve better serve you in the future. And you could even be featured on a future episode during our listener spotlights. Because if we don't get the reviews, we don't get the rankings. And it makes it a lot harder to continue justifying the cost and time expense of producing a podcast every week, and convincing amazing guests to come on the show. And of course, your reviews are super helpful and motivating to me personally and I love hearing from you. So on that note, we're going to end this episode with another listener spotlight. Here we go. This review comes from manda k 87. She says, This podcast is a breath of fresh air from the constant refrain of hustle, hustle, hustle. I love how she isn't afraid to tell people you can be successful without burning yourself into the ground. You can have a thriving business without sacrificing yourself to the author. been listening for a few months now and I love all the wisdom she brings in from successful entrepreneurs of all backgrounds. Thank you so much, man that you have no idea how much this review means. I appreciate you

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