070: Meditation Benefits with Emily Fletcher

Kate Kordsmeier 0:00

Oh, buddy, this is a good one. Welcome back to the Success with Soul podcast. I'm your host, Kate Kordsmeier. And today we are talking about meditation. And I don't just mean any old regular kind of meditation. This is meditation to the next level this true meditation. This is so much more than as my guest Emily Fletcher called it a cute bubble bath. This is beyond basic self care of Mani pedis. This is transcendent. So what the hell am I talking about? Okay. Emily Fletcher is our guest. She is the founder of Ziva meditation. She is the leading expert in meditation for performance and has taught over 50,000 people the skill of meditation. She's an international speaker and an author and her best selling book stress less accomplished more debuted at number seven out of all the books on Amazon and has been translated into 12 languages. So she knows her stuff. And the ZIVA technique is a little bit different than what you're probably used to if you have used guided meditation apps like headspace or calm. The Ziva technique is a powerful combination of mindfulness meditation and manifesting, designed to help you get better at life, not meditation. It's not a guided meditation. It's teaching you how to do it for yourself forever without the need of any smartphones or devices or really anything except yourself. So if you're intrigued as you should be, you are going to love this episode. Let's get into it. You're listening to the Success with Soul podcast with Kate Kordsmeier ex journalists turn CEO of a multi six figure blog in online business. But it wasn't that long ago that Kate was a struggling entrepreneur who lacked confidence, clarity, and let's be honest money. But all those failures, experiments and lessons learned helped Kate create a thriving business that impacts 1000s and brings freedom, flexibility and fulfillment to her life. If you're ready to do the same and make something happen with holistic, soulful, step by step strategies from Kate and other experts, you're in the right place. here's your host, writer, educator, Mom, recovering perfectionist, bookworm and sushi connoisseur, Kate Kordsmeier. Emily, welcome to the show.

Emily Fletcher 2:26

I am so thrilled to be here. How you feeling?

Kate Kordsmeier 2:30

I'm so ready. And I feel like I've done some of your meditations in the past. And now sitting here even just talking to you. I'm like, you really do have that voice. It's just so smooth and pure and calming. I love it.

Emily Fletcher 2:42

Thank you. I appreciate it. You know, do you used to be a singer? So that's part of it. Oh, yeah. Meditation in the decade on Broadway. You know, that'll that'll smooth things out a little bit. Hopefully. No way. That's

Kate Kordsmeier 2:53

so cool. Well, that starts my first question is like, tell us your story. So from Broadway to meditation, let's see. Right?

Emily Fletcher 3:00

Yeah. So I was in probably for 10 years singing, dancing acting. My last show was a chorus line where I was understudying three of the lead roles. So I mean, imagine showing up to your job and being like, Oh, just kidding. You're going to be the director of operations today, when you thought you were the director of marketing, or Oh, surprise, like you're gonna be giving a speech today when you thought you were in accounting. Yeah. And so it's it's very nerve racking. And so that led to a lot of anxiety, which led to insomnia. So I was sleeping through the night for 18 months going gray in my 20s getting sick, getting injured. And it's confusing, you know, when you're living your dream, and then miserable. And so long story short, I found meditation and it cured my insomnia. On the first day. I slept through the night for the first time in 18 months. And I have a very night since that was 12 years ago. And then I stopped getting sick. I didn't get sick for eight and a half years, they used to get like four or five times a year, I started enjoying my job again, I stopped going gray. And I was like, Why does everyone not do this? So I left Broadway, I went to India and I started what became a three year training process to teach. And since graduating, I've now taught over 50,000 people to do the ZIVA technique on their own. And the book has been translated into 14 languages, one of them is Arabic. And so it feels exciting to get this message in these tools into the hands of cultures and communities that maybe had access and then lost it over many hundreds of years. And, and also that people are waking up that they're ready to look inside, for their own fulfillment, and to go to their own souls to create the kind of success in the world that we want to I mean, not to be too on the nose. But that's that's what we're about. Ziva is like, how can you Yes, live your dreams? Yes, perform at the top of your game, but in a way where it is authentically you were in a way that is sustainable in a way that is healing you and healing everyone around you.

Kate Kordsmeier 4:50

So one of the last questions I always ask everybody on the show is What does Success with Soul mean to you? And I feel like you just answered it right there. So good. Shaq we're way ahead of schedule. I love it. So I'm curious, that first meditation that you did, was it self guided? Were you listening to a track of something like for the very first time? What was it like for you? Okay, so

Emily Fletcher 5:14

it's so fascinating because when I started 12 years ago, I mean, this is hard to imagine now, but there was no headspace. There was no calm. There was no Oprah Chopra, online courses weren't a thing. Like it really was a different era as far as online courses and around meditation. So I actually created the world's first online meditation training, and people thought it was they called it a nudist, Buddhist. And they're like, Look, you can be weird in one way or weird in another, but you can't feel weird on top of weird. Meditation is weird. online courses are weird, and you can't you're trying to do both. And so it was in the second wall now, like, it's everyone on the, you know, everyone and their brother has a meditation app these days. So anyway, my first course was, there was a woman sitting next to me in the dressing room in a chorus line, and she had a harder job than I did. She was understanding five of the leads and nailing it. I mean, every song every dance, every bite of food, this woman, he be like, Oh, this is sensational. She was Australian. And so first, I just thought it was because she was an Ozzy. And then I was like, No, this is extra. So finally, I was like, hey, like, I want to have some of what you're having. She's at my teachers in town, do you want to learn? And I said, Yes. So I went along to this course. And it was about two hours a day for four days. And there was a full like, you went to an intro talk, and you signed up. And there was a ceremony on the first day, and it wasn't like, oh, let me download this app. But it wasn't like, oh, let me listen to this 20 minute thing like now when people hear the word meditation, they think, Oh, well, which free app Did you download? Which person's guided thing are you doing? And really, Ziva, what we're all about, is teaching people how to do this on their own, how to get these skills intrinsically inside of you, so that you don't need your phone, or Wi Fi, or headphones or a dude playing drums on your chest, in order to meditate that you can just close your eyes and access this infinite bliss. So my first class was in New York City, but with a teacher who'd come into town from London, and it was in person training. And really, that first day, I was in a different state of consciousness than I had ever been in before. And I liked it. And then that night, I slept through the night for the first time in 18 months. And if anyone who's been struggling with insomnia knows that like life is hard when you're tired. And if curing my insomnia is all meditation had done for me, it would have been enough. But then as you know, like the ripple effects of getting enough sleep, the ripple effect of having your full cognitive abilities available to you, the ripple effect of your intuition getting stronger. It's like it up levels every single area of your Yeah, totally.

Kate Kordsmeier 7:38

So tell us a little bit more about what makes Siva different from other meditation practices other than the fact that you're teaching them us how to do it for ourselves, rather than always having a guided thing that we're listening to?

Emily Fletcher 7:51

Yeah. So I first want to acknowledge that most people who haven't yet taken a meditation training, think, well, I could never do this on my own, I could never quiet my mind, I have to have guidance. Like I really like guided meditation. So I understand that that's the mindset that most people are coming from. And so they're actually like, holding on to the crutches are hungry for someone holding their hand through it. So I just want to let people know that there's a difference between a guided visualization and you learning the skill of meditation. Right, right. They really are two separate things. Yeah. And that's one of the things we do Ziva is, like you said, We train people to do mindfulness, meditation and manifesting on your own. So the ZIVA technique is combined comprised of these three M's mindfulness, which gets rid of your stress in the now, meditation, which gets rid of your stress from the past, and manifesting, which helps with your dreams for the future. And so what in this day and age, most people say mine, sorry, when they say meditation, what they usually are thinking of are free apps, which is, again, someone usually guiding you through a visualization. So technique wise, anytime you're focusing, anytime someone's having you concentrate on your breath, or visualize your chakras. That's all keeping you in your left brain realm of thinking, you're directing your focus, which I would define that as mindfulness. So most of the quote unquote meditation apps out there I would actually define as mindfulness apps, yeah, again, is very good at handling your stress. And then now it's very good at creating a state change. What meditation is doing is that it's creating a trait change. It is healing your stress from the past. And this is one of the things that makes Ziva so powerful is that you're going in and you're giving your body rest, it's five times deeper than sleep. And that's not insignificant, because when we give the body the rest that it needs, it knows how to heal itself. And it's the cool thing is is not just healing stress from today, it's healing stress from your parents divorce when you were 12 your breakup when you were 16. The job you got fired from from your 24 the move you did last week, like all that stuff gets stored in ourselves. And over time, that stress makes us stupid, sick and slow. Right. It's always the Doing that it's like peeling away those layers so that you can really perform at the top of your game. And then finally, we finished with manifesting. And I'm sure your audience is well into manifesting by now. But my simple definition of that is you consciously creating a life you live, consciously creating the life you love getting intentional about what you want your life to look like, how much money would you love to make in a year? How much sex Would you like to have in a week? What's your dream vacation? What do you want your impact to be on the planet, versus what so many people are doing is that they're just living fully reactive lives, or they're constantly just putting out fires, or moving away from the problems instead of moving towards their dreams. The trick is that it takes the it actually takes less energy to manifest your dreams than it does to be constantly running away from your nightmares.

Kate Kordsmeier 10:51

Yes, say that, again,

Emily Fletcher 10:52

that it's less energy to manifest your dreams than it does to be constantly running away from your nightmares. And the thing is, nature doesn't like a vacuum. So if you don't wake up in the day and set your intention for the day, if you don't finish your meditation, and really dream into what you want your life to look like, if you're CEO of your company does not set strategic objectives for the year. Everybody's just doing busy work, right? It's like if you don't set the address into your GPS, you're just driving aimlessly around the streets. And that's what a life without a real manifestation practice is, is that you're just reacting. You're working. You don't know why you don't know what your purpose is. How could you even celebrate success, because you haven't defined it for yourself. So with Ziva we're actually teaching people a daily discipline of flooding their brains and bodies with with dopamine and serotonin, which are bliss chemicals, feeling really good, accessing that source energy, so they can even hear their own intuition. And then after the meditation, investing some time into dreaming into what do I want my day, my life, my relationship to look like?

Kate Kordsmeier 12:04

Okay, so much goodness, so many follow up questions. I'm trying to figure out where to start because, okay, the first question that I was having when you first started talking about what makes Ziva different is like, but how does meditation do this? Can you tell us more about like some of the science of meditation and what's actually happening to help us heal?

Emily Fletcher 12:28

Yes, it will be my pleasure. So when we get stressed when humans get stressed, the body launches into a fight or flight, stress reaction, and there's a whole host of chemical reactions that happen in the body. One of the first things that that your digestion floods with acid to shut down your digestion because you need all that energy to get away from the tiger, that acid and seeps onto your skin so that you don't taste very good if the tiger were to bite you. Your blood thickens and regulate because you don't bleed to death. If you get bitten into your vision will narrow bladder and bowels evacuated immune system goes to the backburner sex drive goes to the backburner. Instead, a series of chemical reactions is helpful if your demands are tigers. But if your demands our kids jobs, deadlines in laws, flying pandemics, then this fight or flight thing has actually become maladaptive. It's dis allowing us we're performing at the top of our game. And so what meditation does is that it goes in and not only gets rid of the adrenaline and cortisol, which are those acidic stress hormones, but it also floods the brain and body with dopamine and serotonin. And these are the feel good hormones. This is bliss chemistry. And so the cool thing here is that you can start to feel better, but you also can reverse your body age by up to 15 years. That's not just some hippie dippie Folk saying that that's like science out of tufts and Wake Forest University. You can improve fertility, you can increase skin elasticity, you can improve brain elasticity, you can elongate neurogenesis, which is the brain's ability to generate new neurons. Your sex drive can improve decision making improves, you can increase your IQ by 12 points, and reverse your brain age by something crazy, like 20 years. Okay, where do I sign? I mean, legitimately, like, I know I sound like a used car salesman. But when people say like, I don't have time to meditate, I'm like, What else are you doing with your? Because because people are thinking like meditation is like a cute bubble bath for your brain. Yeah, like a pedicure. Like something that's a cue that you'll get around to me I've extra time because what most people think meditation is, is like a yummy guided visualization again, that makes you feel better and then now, but if you actually are meditating in the way I teach at Ziva and getting rid of all the stress in your body and giving yourself that host of biological changes that I just rattled off, you start to see that you decisions fast, you get some more stuff done in less time your sleep is more efficient, you make better decisions, your relationships, improve Then you get into the mindset of like, I can't afford not to meditate, right? I'm so busy. I better meditate today. Yeah. And that's really where I would love to see the narrative go in the public is at this point, the sciences and everyone knows they should be meditating. But then we convince ourselves, well, I'm too busy or I can't clear my mind, right, but the technique that's designed for you and not a monk, and once you actually have a little bit of training, versus just thinking you should sit there and be able to magically clear your mind, right? That is where everything gets so much easier.

Kate Kordsmeier 15:29

Yeah. Interrupting this episode with an important PSA, you are more than your business. You are a whole person, though you created your business to have freedom and flexibility hopefully, while also creating massive impact and income. Sometimes you feel like your business is running you instead of you running your business. But it is time to change. That is exactly why I designed the Success with Soul incubator. I've learned that the bigger you grow, the more self care you need. But you can't do that without self managed teams and hands off systems, which I teach you how to create inside the incubator. This is for all the spreadsheet nerds who are ready to dig into their data actually know what to do with it and grow their team and support system so you can spend less time in your business and more time enjoying your life. holistic systems are just one part of my signature six part framework, which you can learn more about by going to successwithsoul.co/apply when you apply now for your spot inside the incubator, you'll also get access to our exclusive to our private workshop for accepted applicants. This is a private invite only advanced level workshop, where you'll learn exactly how to scale to 50k a month on autopilot without live launching paid ads, social media or selling your soul. The application only takes five minutes and there is no obligation to enroll. Once your application is accepted. You'll learn my exact six part framework to grow your traffic organically scale your passive income with evergreen funnels, and do it all without burning out. I'll explain everything you need to know about the incubator program. So come on over and apply now. Again, that's successwithsoul.co/apply. I love that you said that, you know meditation is not a cute bubble bath. Because I think meditation and just self care in general is Yeah, has kind of been co opted by bubble baths and massages and like things that are nice. I mean, I like those things. But that's not really going to restore like daily trauma and stress. And you know, it's so much more than that. So we've talked a lot about what meditation is not. But can we talk about what meditation actually is? And I think yes, when I hear and I think a lot of people listening here about meditation, they think it's just quieting your mind for 10 minutes. Don't think about anything. And that's meditation. People try that. They're like, Oh, yeah, it's

Emily Fletcher 18:08

simple. I should be able to do it. Like, I don't need to take a class. I'll just sit here and quiet my mind. And then they close their eyes. And they're like, all right, brain Shut up. Sure, would love a snack. nicer, delicious. Maybe I should take a bubble bath? Well, no, she said meditations better for me the bubble bath. But now I'm thinking about bubble baths. Oh, no, I don't think I'm good at this meditation thing I quit. And that is the beginning and the end of most people's career because they mistakenly believe that the point is to quiet the mind or to clear the mind. So for anyone who's listening, who's ever felt like a meditation failure, or thought, well, I can't meditate because my brain is too busy. Please hear this. If you hear one thing from this whole episode, let it be this, the mind thinks in voluntarily, just like the heartbeats in voluntarily. So trying to give your brain a command to shut up is as impactful as trying to give your heart a command to stop beating. It doesn't work. And yet this is the criteria by which everyone is judging themselves as to whether or not they can meditate. And this is why everyone thinks meditation is hard. And the reason why that happens is that most people are trying to do adaptations of monk meditation, like derivations of monastic practices, which are more disciplined, more focus more concentration based and that's what mindfulness is actually, mindfulness is an adaptation of something that was originally made for monks, whereas with Ziva is, and I'm speaking specifically of the meditation portion of the ZIVA technique is, it was made for people with busy minds and busy lives. It was designed to be integrated into your life, meaning like you have a job, you have kids, you have stuff to do so you have less time in your day with which to meditate. So you actually need a technique that is even more powerful. Monks can meditate for hours on end they can afford to do something that is simpler, they can afford to do something sorry, that is gentler. But it's like if you have a job and kids, you have less minutes, you need a more powerful practice, right? What meditation is, and specifically different from mindfulness is that for Ziva, you're accessing a verifiable fourth state of consciousness, so different than waking different than sleeping in different than dreaming. And in the sports state of consciousness, the right and left hemispheres of your brain are functioning in unison. And you're strengthening something called the corpus callosum, which is the bridge between the right and left hemispheres of the brain. This is important because this is the thing that allows you to access creative downloads, even in the middle of a high demand situation. And then the other thing, how I would define meditation is where you're giving your body rest, that, again, is five times deeper than sleep. And that's really where the magic happens. Because as we all know, if you're sick, you need to rest, right body heals when it rests. And if we're in a chronic state of stress, the body simply isn't resting to the degree which it could, which means you're not regenerating. You're not recuperating, you're not processing. And that goes for all of the systems in your body, your reproduction, your digestion, your vision, your memory, your concentration, creativity, the all of those things get stunted when you have too many tabs open on your brain computer.

Kate Kordsmeier 21:18

great analogy. So without going into teaching us your actual technique on the show, can you tell us a little like, is there a way to tell us a little bit more about how you get into that fourth state of consciousness?

Emily Fletcher 21:34

Mm hmm. Yeah. So for the first six years of my career, I was just teaching meditation, right. So I was just sort of giving people the tools to access that fourth state of consciousness. And after about six years and many 1000s of people, I realized that meditation alone is not enough, because I saw people like starting meditation and quitting, or just simply not even wanting to really fully dive in. So that's actually why I developed the ZIVA technique, which is mindfulness, and then meditation, and then manifesting. So we start with mindfulness and Ziva, and that could be breathwork. That could be using your five senses, but it's something where you are directing your focus. It's something to really to bring you into the present moment, so that you're preparing your mind and body to surrender into this deep healing rest. So for most of us, especially with our busy lives, like we're gonna need some sort of like a warm up, you know, we like gotta get the motor running a little bit before we start the race. And then at Ziva, what we do to induce that fourth state of consciousness is that we use a tool. It's a mental tool, and I'm going to say a word that has been very much hijacked, okay? We use something called a mantra. Now, when I say the word mantra, what most people think of is slogan, or affirmation. They think like, Oh, I deserve abundance. I'm a strong angry woman like we think about, you know, mantra, Monday's motivational mantras. Again, those are affirmations. mantras a Sanskrit word man means mind and truck means vehicle. So Ziva, we use a mind vehicle. And these are beautiful, powerful sounds. They're like settling sounds. But again, D excite the nervous system that induce this deep healing rest, and that help the right and left hemispheres of the brain to function in unison. So it's basically like your mind finds the sound of the mantra very charming. Your mind finds the sound of the mantra, very settling. And it actually it feels the analogy that it uses that the mantra sort of bury themselves into your right brain. And because most of us are in our waking state, left brain, most of the time, when we start to wake up that right brain, that's when we create brain coherence, that's when all cylinders start firing.

Kate Kordsmeier 23:45

This is really cool. And it's, it's reminding me so I was introduced to Ziva I guess, almost three years ago now because it was right after my son was born and to listen to now way Yeah, yes. So, and I'll be honest, I started it and I stopped and I didn't go back to it. And I need to and I'm like, so inspired now. I'm like, soon as we hang up, that's exactly what I'm going to go do.

Emily Fletcher 24:10

Give you a big hall pass, because I'm a meditation teacher. I do this for a living. And when I had my son, I didn't meditate not one time. a month, which for me is like a year. Yeah. And and it's just life is life. And postpartum is a special type of life. And so I just want to give you any sort of guilt or embarrassment or shame or shooter is just like just wiped out from the day. Like now's the perfect time.

Kate Kordsmeier 24:36

Yes, now is the perfect time. And thank you for saying that. Like what you said earlier, too. It's really, I couldn't afford not to do it, then I probably that's the time that I should have been doing it most. So anyway, I'm still always, you know, life's always chaotic and full. Now. I also have a one year old, so life's crazy. Yes. And so, okay. What I was going to ask you though, is I remember Now, there was one video that I watched with you and you use Ziva as an example of saying like z, and then doing it different ways in your head. Is that what you mean by mantra? Is that what you're referencing, or it My

Emily Fletcher 25:15

name is the name of my company, not a mantra. And so yes, I think you might be thinking about the audio book. So in my book, stress less, accomplish more, I kind of go through, like the different things that can happen inside of the mind of a meditator. And I'll use like a word as an example like ding dong, or ramble ama, Ding Dong, just to give people a window into what what happens most commonly for meditators.

Kate Kordsmeier 25:40

Okay, that must be what I'm thinking of that. Okay, that makes sense. Let's go back to the subject, though of I don't have time to meditate. I'm so busy. I'm so my life is so full and chaotic. How do you prioritize it? And is the answer literally just as simple as like, you just do it?

Emily Fletcher 25:59

Well, it's not that simple. Because if you don't want to have an intellectual understanding of what this thing is doing for your brain and body, you will find every single excuse in the book not to do it. Because here's the here's the trick. We've been trained since infancy, not to feel our feelings. Don't cry, have a bottle, don't cry, have a toy, don't cry, have an iPad, have some toys, have some food, have some TV, have some Facebook, have some pot have some pills. And you know, we've just trained ourselves since infancy to repress repress, shut down, shut down. And the meditation is going to heal you on a cellular level. And part of that means allowing the old stress, the old trauma, the old sadness to come up and out. And nobody wants to feel their feelings. We have billions of dollars of industry built on top of ensuring that you actually never have to feel it. Just take some more pills, drink some more stuff, watch some more things, scroll through some more hours of Instagram, but don't feel don't feel don't feel feelings way too hard. Uh huh. And so what meditation is doing is it's gonna bring you out, and it's gonna make the feeling non negotiable. And so you're gonna have to contend with your resistance, like that's going to come up. And that's part of why I think it's so important to have a teacher. I think it's why it's so important to have a community. And I think it's why it's important to have an actual matriculation, Ziva online is developed, where it's like every day builds upon the previous day, right? By the time you graduate from those 15 days, you already have momentum, you've gone from five minutes to eight minutes to 10 minutes to 15 minutes, you now understand why this is going to give you back more time in your day, I go through and say okay, let's say you're a new Mom, let's say you have a three year old and a one year old. Well, guess what, when you wake up at 6am, with your baby screaming, you're not going to meditate, right? Then I get that you might be breastfeeding, like your day doesn't start for you. But what I would recommend in your case, and people can adapt this to whatever their fill in the blank buisiness is, is, you know, if your day, if you have any sort of childcare, like if your nanny comes at eight, or if your partner takes over at 10, do your meditation then, right? It's like when you start your day, it's just first thing, or right where the kids come home from school. Or you know, if you have if you go to an office, which is not that many people do anymore, but if you do, it's actually better to meditate in your office than it is for you to come home and do it. Like once you're like kind of home life starts all the nitty gritty of this, and actually how you can do it on a plane on takeoff and landing, how it can basically eradicate jetlag, how you can do it if you're pregnant, which makes pregnancy so much easier. Like there's a lot of different use cases that we cover and Ziva online, but point of the story is that if you don't have a technique that's designed for you, and if you don't have any training, you're it's gonna feel like a waste of time. Right? I would argue that none of us have obviously none of us have time to waste. I would even argue that none of us have time to spend. All of us have time to invest. And when you start to viscerally feel the exact ROI the huge return on time investment that you get with Ziva, then you're like, duh, of course, I'm going to do this 15 minute meditation in the morning because I will get back hours of productivity and my day.

Kate Kordsmeier 29:16

Right, right, exactly. Hey, hey, you want me to let you in on my secret to how I work with less stress, less effort, less pushing, and more ease, flow and joy? Here it is, and it has truly transformed my health and happiness and skyrocketed my business results. For the past few years, I've been embracing cyclical living. What's that you ask? It's actually based on the fact that a woman's body follows a 28 day cycle, give or take, where throughout the month, our energy levels rise and fall, our nutritional needs change and even our brains focus on different things as our hormones fluctuate. All of this happens to magically mirror the phases of the moon because Mother Nature is one smart cookie. But our world is based around a consistent 24 hour a day, seven day a week cycle. Why? Because this is how men or testosterone dominant people's biological clocks operate, aka the patriarchy. Trying to work and plan with the structure just doesn't work for women or estrogen dominant people. So how can we bring more feminine energy into our businesses and make it work for us? Imagine how your life would change if you could work with your body and its cycles, not against it. That's why I created my mindful planning printables to help you tune into your body hone in on the work you truly love. prioritize your most pressing tasks, and let the rest go. liberation is just around the corner with this revolutionary approach. So go to successwithsoul.co/mindful to get your printable planner today. Inside you'll find my four season cycle key reference guide that will help you understand all of these things that I'm talking about. And there's pages for self care, morning rituals, there's journal prompts, there's worksheets, there's my all time favorite productivity tool that I use every single day. There's reflection and review planners so that you can figure out what's working, what needs to get the boot in the next season of life, and weekly, monthly, quarterly and annual planning sheets to get you into alignment and unlocking new levels of productivity. If you're ready, go to successwithsoul.co/mindful today to get your copy and get started learning how to flow with your life instead of against it.

Okay, so do you feel like you have to practice? Do you have to meditate every day to get the benefits fully? Yeah,

Emily Fletcher 31:53

you need that coffee you drink last Thursday, that is not really giving you a pep in your step today is the same of meditation, same as you did last January is not going to make you feel better today. Just like we got to sleep every day, we got to brush your teeth every day. Meditation really wants to be in that non negotiable category of like I do this like eating, sleeping and brushing my teeth.

Kate Kordsmeier 32:16

Yeah. And to go back to what you just shared a second ago. Do you think that? The answer is probably whenever you fit it in is when you fit it in? And that that's most important just that you do it not when you do it. But if we could pretend that we're in complete control of our time, then do you think it is better to start your day meditating or

Emily Fletcher 32:39

Yes. To what we teach in Ziva is wake up and go to the bathroom, get some water fresh enough. But first thing before coffee before breakfast before computer before your phone, you really want to do that morning meditation. And I just gave myself like a 30 day like sabbatical of sorts. So it was like no drinking, no sugar, no social media, no socializing, no dating, it was just me, my son and God. And I would wake up in the morning. And I would actually and I'm not suggesting that people do this, like this is my own kind of like urban retreat. But I had some times a two hour morning practice where I was meditating, journaling, doing sex, practice breath work. And then I wouldn't even look at my phone for the first two hours of my day. And just one day of that is like a religious experience, I turned my phone off, like off off for 24 hours is fascinating how quickly your brain changes. Like I felt like a different human in 24 hours. Because forget about the actual screen time what that's doing for you, and just the mental like addiction of reaching into it, what's next, and the inability to do any sort of long form concentration or to have nature download bigger ideas. Like what that phone addiction is costing all of us is huge. So anyway, just to translate that, like I just am coming off of this month where I just felt amazing. And so like if you could just wake up in the morning and go to the bathroom, have some water, take 15 minutes for yourself 15 minutes to flood your brain and body with feel good chemicals to connect yourself to your own intuition to design your day. If you don't think you're gonna get a return on investment from that you're out of your mind.

Kate Kordsmeier 34:21

Yeah, I mean, the phone addiction is so real. And I mean, I know all of us are guilty of it, and it's designed that way like it's not our fault, but I've been trying to figure out how to break my phone addiction while still having a phone and this sounds like a good a good experiment

Emily Fletcher 34:40

with you know, there isn't an app on the phone. hilariously it's called screen time.

Kate Kordsmeier 34:44

Yeah,

Emily Fletcher 34:45

get it to be like at 11 o'clock everything shuts down right only I'm allowed 10 minutes on Facebook or 10 minutes on Instagram. And so just if you do find yourself in like a full zombie scroll like just it shutting down the social media I think is really helpful. I want to really advocate for Like this. I mean, this is absurd that I'm even saying this as like a thing that humans should do. But turning off your phone for 24 hours. I am not kidding will feel like a religious experience. Yeah.

Kate Kordsmeier 35:13

Yeah, once I went away for the weekend, and I deleted like all of the apps that I constantly email, social media, Vox are like all the things that I knew I was going to check. And so I didn't turn my phone off. But I really wasn't like texting or doing anything else on it. But I found myself just like still wanting to like pick it up and see like, well, what could I do on here without these things, I'm like, why the point is get rid of.

Emily Fletcher 35:42

Yeah, something like so as simple as like, it sounds dumb. But if you turn it off, like the 30 seconds, you have to wait for it to turn on is enough time for your brain to do some what I call urge surfing. Notice that you have the urge. And you can actually ride the wave of the urge. And it might actually pass before your phone even turns on. And you have a moment to be like I actually don't want to look at this. Let me just put it down. Turn it physically off, put it in a drawer, keep it in another room. You're going to have the urge. Oh, but it's going to be too many steps to go. Yeah. Yeah, you know, and I know that is tricky. If you're not with your kids, then that was the thing that I was finding that I was at my son that weekend. And so I actually was like, maybe I should get a landline. So that I just know that if my son someone can reach me, right? I think there's even wearable jewelry that can solve that for you. It's like only your nanny, only your partner can Yeah. But then you can keep your phone in another room.

Kate Kordsmeier 36:40

Yeah, one of my friends does this thing where she will sign out of all of the apps. And so if she wants to log into Instagram, she has to actually like type in her password and do the whole thing. And she says a lot of times she ends up being like, forget is way too much effort. Yes. And smart. Yeah. So I should try that I do do that screentime thing where it shuts down certain things, but I also am guilty of going on and remind me in 15 minutes and adding more time because you're like, yeah, you're doing that and like, Oh, stop it. Okay, as we're coming up on the end here. This is all been so fascinating. Like I said, I cannot wait to just go. As soon as we hang up. I'm going to log into my Ziva account and get started again. Yes, and I know you mentioned that you had a special free gift for everybody listening if you want to share the link is going to be successwithsoul.co/Ziva. So we will put that in the show notes. But if you want to tell everybody what's what's at that

Emily Fletcher 37:38

link waiting for them? Yeah. So what I'd love to offer everyone is the first three days of this course that I've that we've been talking about. So this course is going to teach them mindfulness meditation and manifesting, it's our most popular training. It's the thing that gives you back more time in your day, better sleep, better sex, and the ability to do this stuff on your own. So it's usually a 15 day training, but I would love to give to your audience the first three days for free, they can go to that link that you just mentioned, it's that slash Ziva. And, and then you can see if like, if you did my teaching style, if you did the technology and and the one thing I do want to highlight is that once you graduate from the 15 days, you don't have to keep going to your phone anymore. Because to me, like meditating with an app is like having an AA meeting in a liquor store. Why would you go into the belly of the beast of distraction to try and you know, unplowed drill. So yes, we use technology just to give you the information, but then after that, you can do this anywhere on a plane on a bus in a lift with your kids in the next room. Like it's infinitely portable. And the idea is that you just close your eyes and you're able to access this bliss and you come out feeling so refreshed on the other side.

Kate Kordsmeier 38:44

So good. So anywhere else you'd like to share for people to find you.

Emily Fletcher 38:49

Yeah, we're all over social media at Ziva meditation. And then one thing I'd love to share is that for anyone who has children we just launched I've been working for two years with folks from Harvard and Sesame Street, to develop what I think is really the world's most entertaining kids meditation course. It's called Ziva kids. It's for ages four to 14. And I have a puppet co star His name is the bunny like, it's it's amazing. It's so good. I'm so dang proud of it. And people can find that Zivameditation.com/kids.

Kate Kordsmeier 39:18

Okay, awesome. That's amazing. So cool. When Jackson turns four, I'm gonna get him on that train. Okay, so we always end with a quick lightning round. You already answered the last question in the beginning so we won't have to do that one again. But tell us what is your favorite way to make time for self care? Aside from meditating?

Emily Fletcher 39:42

I honestly a bath and I know I was kind of hating on bubble baths earlier or it was just feeling a little like pejorative. But there is something that feels so sacred and so special about an almost luxurious, about taking that time and all I mean, I put in rose buds and roses heddles and Epsom salts and oils and crystals, and I really make it an experience in that bath and and then it's like no one can get to me, right? It's actually I'm in a little casing, and I know it's so healing for my body. And so that feels really good these days.

Kate Kordsmeier 40:15

Yes, totally. One tool or strategy used to help with time management. Hmm. turn your phone off. Yeah.

Emily Fletcher 40:24

I read two books in the weekend that I turned my phone off. I had two books. Amazing. Amazing.

Kate Kordsmeier 40:31

What is one of the most powerful business or entrepreneurial mindset books you've read?

Emily Fletcher 40:38

Well, can it not be a book? Sure. Okay. I would say it's Marie Forleo. is B school. Oh, okay. Yeah, if you haven't done it, it's just it's so good. It's like an NBA. And she really built it for like female solopreneurs in mind, but it's, it's become much more comprehensive than that. And if you're just starting out, if you're developing an online course, if you're building your email list, if you're figuring out your messaging, she's just It's so good. So and I think card only opens for like two weeks a year and I think it might be coming up soon. I really should be an affiliate for her. I just think it's so good.

Kate Kordsmeier 41:15

Yeah, I did B school a few years ago as well. And I think it's amazing too. Okay, so this is an interesting question, because normally the way I ask it is, what is a mantra or affirmation? You're telling yourself these days? Now I'm gonna have to change that. curvaceous affirmation. Thank you. Yeah.

Emily Fletcher 41:35

Okay. So what the one that comes to mind right now is the braver I am the luckier I become. The braver I am the luckier I become and that is from Glennon Doyle's untamed the best book. I've read it 10 times. So good. I just I just listened to the last five chapters again last night and I just It feels like God is speaking directly to me. Via Glennon Doyle. Golly, it's it's so good. So good.

Kate Kordsmeier 42:04

I love it. Thank you so much for being here. This was amazing. It is my absolute pleasure that you're such a great interviewer and Bravo and everything that you're creating. Thanks. Wait a minute. I know I know you're eager to get back to your life. But before you turn off this episode, I want to share something super quick with you. I know you're probably sick of hearing other podcasters ask you to leave reviews. But here's the deal. If you like a podcast, and you want them to be able to continue delivering you free episodes every week, we need your support. If you subscribe on the apple podcast, Google podcast, app, Spotify, or wherever you listen, it makes it possible for me to continue to provide free helpful content and bring you amazing guests. And if you take it one step further by giving us a rating and review with your honest feedback, we can improve better serve you in the future. And you could even be featured on a future episode during our listener spotlights. Because if we don't get the reviews, we don't get the rankings and it makes it a lot harder to continue justifying the cost and time expense of producing a podcast every week and convincing amazing guests to come on the show. And of course your reviews are super helpful and motivating to me personally and I love hearing from you

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